Poem: Codependency Love
Besides writing psychological poetry, Mark enjoys exploring a variety of topics from surfing to juicy grandma kisses.
Codependency and Love, Explained
Codependent love has no boundaries. There is no end or beginning. No you or me. There is just one, a fusion of two dysfunctional people. When one experiences trauma, the other does, too. The dysfunction persists and flourishes into an almost insurmountable catastrophe.
When a person finds herself living for the other person who has an addiction, and is only happy when the addict is sober, then she is just as unhealthy as the one with the substance abuse problem.
As the codependent enables, he or she helps to maintain an unhealthy dynamic and, in turn, becomes a part of the problem. The solution is often for the codependent to let go, to take care of him or herself, and to allow the addict to do the same. My poem, Codependency Love, explores the dynamic between the addict and the enabler.
Poem: Codependency Love
Her husband’s addiction,
much too hard
for her to endure.
For he was she
and she was he
and ignoring the problem
was a solution
that both stubbornly agreed.
She hid everything
and he concealed the truth,
chased the white lies
like elusive fireflies.
She protected and abetted
and hated his very soul.
He depended and resented,
picking up the pieces,
begged and pleaded,
and rescued him from dives,
cheap barflies, and lifted him
from the floor of his fallen bar stool.
She’d clean his soiled self
and promise that next time
would be her last,
but she couldn’t quit,
her dependency, her control,
her fears wouldn’t let go
or break the pattern
of cease and assist.
Even after many years passed
and more of the shame,
she foolishly believed that one day,
he’d be sober again
and her troubles washed away
like the dirty laundry, she hauled each week
to the coin-operated machines.
© 2020 Mark Tulin