Playing the Indifference Game

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

As the year draws to a close, been through a lot of stuff

Good, bad and totally different than anything from before

Feeling as if I've fought a long, turbulent battle for survival

Melodramatic a tad bit though it was true in a way

Love and heartbreak two extreme emotions that take a lot

Turned someone who had a laissez-faire attitude

Into someone actively planning for a non-existent future

A house of cards that disappeared with one gust of wind

Still a little bitter over being reduced to a passing fancy

Instead of someone who meant more than a fling

That went on longer than it should have

Could've had a friendlier conclusion without slamming the book shut

Before throwing it in the fireplace to turn it into complete ashes

Contents transformed into the dusty aftermath of nothing

Sweeping away 27 months as if it was just a figment of the imagination

New Year's goal was to find a new approach over what comes next

Been angry, sad and just plain cynical over everything for too long

As if I was the criminal who violated some unwritten rule

When I really didn't do anything wrong at all

Made no demands on their time or took any real advantage

Didn't use or abuse them for cruel and unusual purposes

Was the cool girlfriend who watched cartoons with them

Preferred to have watch things with a higher IQ level though

Understood that sometimes people need a touch of silly youth

To break from the monotony of being a tried and true adult

Also became aware that it was a way to escape from responsibility

Avoiding the opportunity to grow up and make some clear decisions

Putting nails in the road to flatten their tires to prevent going further

Might not have intended to do so, but they sabotaged their own life

Chose to be irresponsible to ruin a steady form of income

One reckless moment caused a major black mark on their license

Caused them to be blacklisted professionally from future companies

Forced to live on unemployment checks and under the table paint jobs

Seemed like they had a clear plan when it was just an illusion

To calm your suspicious nature of their motives for the future

Became obvious that they weren't as reliable as they appeared to be

A strong shoulder to a cuddle with and cry on when it was needed

Unwilling for me to return the favor for them; not sure if they wanted that

Once felt bad for the predicament they got themselves in

Aware now that it is not my problem what happened to them

They made their bed; and now they have to lie in it alone

Like they deserve to be; the end to this story.

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on December 29, 2019:

Heather,

It seems so unfair when one is hurt by others when he did nothing wrong to deserve it.

I feel this pain.

And yes, it is his bed to lie in not yours.

Still doesn't make it easier. I still think life is short so we need to make it what we want and not worry about what others think of our choices.

But getting hurt makes your attitude bitter.

Great write.