Personal Finance Poem/s: Losing a Job

In case you didn't see the other personal finance poem I wrote:

Not being a poet by trade, I'm a little anxious about putting personal finance themes into poetry, yet I can't help feel like they're strawberries and cream or coffee and butter. People are swayed by the magical use of words in poetry, whether it's a poem about a dark and stormy night or a stanza about a single lily.

Personal finance is equally emotional as you'll understand if you ever try to give someone advice about their money. The biggest problems surrounding money often have deeply psychological roots so maybe the best answer to exploring these problems is to use poetry to examine more deeply these ties.

Not to mention that this should be good fun for me as an aspiring part-time writer. After all, we all love a good challenge! I'll warn you that it's been many years since I've tried my hand at the art of poetry, so tread with caution. And if you don't make it all the way through, leave me a comment and let me know so I don't repeat this wild experiment! Hope it's worth your time~

I sit not hearing

Having heard all I can hear

I sit, not standing

My legs limp like noodles

My mind has paused...

And then I see where I am

In a crowd but alone

Typing and chatter play all around me

I notice then painfully

Tonight I go home jobless

The sun has set early today

Did it hear me crying inside silently?

My favorite bar closed today

Did the owner know I needed it now more than ever?

My phone hums like a drone in my pocket

But there's no one I want to talk to

If I could, I'd close my eyes here

And skip ahead to a happier future

Or turn back to a past so far away

What does it mean to lose a job

Did it walk away right past my eyes?

Or dash aside when I've turned away?

Is it that I had it only to lose it?

When in fact, it was cruelly taken away?

I didn't lose a thing

Yet I feel as if I've lost everything

Why is it that someone making no money wants to spend money?

Why do I find myself sucking down caffeine when all I want is to sleep?

And though I dream of silence I find the busiest and loudest local hub

Surrounding my low glancing looks with bright eyes and full smiles

A sucker for punishment

My legs limp yet again

How I wish this silence was broken with rabble

This silence needles my mind begging for my repetitive thoughts

Unable to escape, I think again

But failure has no emotion, no action

It is silent

It is dark

It is night

I wake up parched

Beer and hard spirits have sucked me dry

Hung over I sit up

Slam my alarm clock

And up for work!

This moment has a taste

Sickeningly sweet cough syrup

And so I lay again to rest and forget

No one waits for me today

This one day though

I've wasted it away

I sit up and pray for a way

I'm known to quit

To cry

To squeal

But from my depths I find

A dream long left untouched

And though it is dark

Though my blinds are shut

A single glimmer shoots out

From inside my own heart

I can breathe again

I can smile again

Everything indeed

Will be all right.