Overcoming a Long Term Psychosomatic Illness of the Heart

Updated on December 18, 2019
heather92383 profile image

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Slowly coming out of this self induced foggy malaise

A perpetual zombie going through the motions to get by

Numb and more or less optimistically defeated

Buried the notion of happily ever after in the backyard

With all the other best and worst kept mafia secrets

Ready to unburden myself of all this disgust and lowliness

Eager to move onto a new adventure with a new partner in crime

Tired of this vicious cycle of healing and regression

One step forward and two more backwards

Depended on the day, the weather and the mood

No longer looking to return to a past that wasn't that good

Realized that I ended up dodging a bullet

Because they had more negative than positive attributes

Coming to terms with getting dumped in such a childish way

By someone who didn't like the truth being brought to light

Knew that the grass had to be greener after all this rain

Fed up with random access memories of happier times

Looking to simply put them in the imaginary rearview mirror

Things that once meant something to both of us

Meaning nothing but a representation of bygone days

Wondered when it would be right time to forget about my ex

Very likely that they have moved on very quickly

Didn't seem to have the same tact or appreciation of relationship

As I did and wasn't able to respect me as a decent partner

Heartbreak almost like an illness in a strange way

Your emotions and physical being tied together

With such strong upheaval after someone inserts themselves

Into your daily life and gave impression they were there

For the long haul after such chaos came about

When is this depression blue period going to conclude

Isn't even about them in the slightest, but what they represented

Having someone to share and confide in missed the most

Not sad over the loss of the relationship anymore

That ship has long since sailed away to never return

Trying to fill the void of a lost love that was never mine

Searching for the integrity buried deep after two year

Prison sentence of compromise and compassion

Won't be pushing that away next go around

Just wondering how to identify myself now it's done

No longer part of a greatly functioning baseball team

With cool jerseys to wear for away games

Longing to enjoy listening to Aerosmith without cringing

Or getting angry that it was their one of their favorite bands

Hearing stories of storming their concert stages

Getting throwing out of the Spectrum after getting punched

Based on that story alone; glad to be rid of that doofus

Just wished that my heart still didn't hurt so bad

Hopefully, Santa will give me the ultimate present this Christmas

My first as a newly single woman just before the year ended

Would love to get the ability to get over them once and for all

Definitely not planning on holding my breath just yet

He's got bigger and better presents to give than that

Fingers crossed.

Time to come up with a new team and uniform.
Time to come up with a new team and uniform.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)