Overcoming a Long Term Psychosomatic Illness of the Heart
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.
Slowly coming out of this self induced foggy malaise
A perpetual zombie going through the motions to get by
Numb and more or less optimistically defeated
Buried the notion of happily ever after in the backyard
With all the other best and worst kept mafia secrets
Ready to unburden myself of all this disgust and lowliness
Eager to move onto a new adventure with a new partner in crime
Tired of this vicious cycle of healing and regression
One step forward and two more backwards
Depended on the day, the weather and the mood
No longer looking to return to a past that wasn't that good
Realized that I ended up dodging a bullet
Because they had more negative than positive attributes
Coming to terms with getting dumped in such a childish way
By someone who didn't like the truth being brought to light
Knew that the grass had to be greener after all this rain
Fed up with random access memories of happier times
Looking to simply put them in the imaginary rearview mirror
Things that once meant something to both of us
Meaning nothing but a representation of bygone days
Wondered when it would be right time to forget about my ex
Very likely that they have moved on very quickly
Didn't seem to have the same tact or appreciation of relationship
As I did and wasn't able to respect me as a decent partner
Heartbreak almost like an illness in a strange way
Your emotions and physical being tied together
With such strong upheaval after someone inserts themselves
Into your daily life and gave impression they were there
For the long haul after such chaos came about
When is this depression blue period going to conclude
Isn't even about them in the slightest, but what they represented
Having someone to share and confide in missed the most
Not sad over the loss of the relationship anymore
That ship has long since sailed away to never return
Trying to fill the void of a lost love that was never mine
Searching for the integrity buried deep after two year
Prison sentence of compromise and compassion
Won't be pushing that away next go around
Just wondering how to identify myself now it's done
No longer part of a greatly functioning baseball team
With cool jerseys to wear for away games
Longing to enjoy listening to Aerosmith without cringing
Or getting angry that it was their one of their favorite bands
Hearing stories of storming their concert stages
Getting throwing out of the Spectrum after getting punched
Based on that story alone; glad to be rid of that doofus
Just wished that my heart still didn't hurt so bad
Hopefully, Santa will give me the ultimate present this Christmas
My first as a newly single woman just before the year ended
Would love to get the ability to get over them once and for all
Definitely not planning on holding my breath just yet
He's got bigger and better presents to give than that
Fingers crossed.