Overcoming a Long Term Psychosomatic Illness of the Heart

Slowly coming out of this self induced foggy malaise

A perpetual zombie going through the motions to get by

Numb and more or less optimistically defeated

Buried the notion of happily ever after in the backyard

With all the other best and worst kept mafia secrets

Ready to unburden myself of all this disgust and lowliness

Eager to move onto a new adventure with a new partner in crime

Tired of this vicious cycle of healing and regression

One step forward and two more backwards

Depended on the day, the weather and the mood

No longer looking to return to a past that wasn't that good

Realized that I ended up dodging a bullet

Because they had more negative than positive attributes

Coming to terms with getting dumped in such a childish way

By someone who didn't like the truth being brought to light

Knew that the grass had to be greener after all this rain

Fed up with random access memories of happier times

Looking to simply put them in the imaginary rearview mirror

Things that once meant something to both of us

Meaning nothing but a representation of bygone days

Wondered when it would be right time to forget about my ex

Very likely that they have moved on very quickly

Didn't seem to have the same tact or appreciation of relationship

As I did and wasn't able to respect me as a decent partner

Heartbreak almost like an illness in a strange way

Your emotions and physical being tied together

With such strong upheaval after someone inserts themselves

Into your daily life and gave impression they were there

For the long haul after such chaos came about

When is this depression blue period going to conclude

Isn't even about them in the slightest, but what they represented

Having someone to share and confide in missed the most

Not sad over the loss of the relationship anymore

That ship has long since sailed away to never return

Trying to fill the void of a lost love that was never mine

Searching for the integrity buried deep after two year

Prison sentence of compromise and compassion

Won't be pushing that away next go around

Just wondering how to identify myself now it's done

No longer part of a greatly functioning baseball team

With cool jerseys to wear for away games

Longing to enjoy listening to Aerosmith without cringing

Or getting angry that it was their one of their favorite bands

Hearing stories of storming their concert stages

Getting throwing out of the Spectrum after getting punched

Based on that story alone; glad to be rid of that doofus

Just wished that my heart still didn't hurt so bad

Hopefully, Santa will give me the ultimate present this Christmas

My first as a newly single woman just before the year ended

Would love to get the ability to get over them once and for all

Definitely not planning on holding my breath just yet

He's got bigger and better presents to give than that

Fingers crossed.