Teodora is a bilingual writer. She is the author of two books, a poetry volume and a collection of short stories.
TIME... I have always found it fascinating. All those seconds and minutes rolled into one eternity. Infinity scares me though. Who am I without my earthly identity? I know I am spirit. I know I am boundless, but I need boundaries to define myself, to contain this human vessel that carries all my thoughts and wishes. It’s silly, but it’s part of being alive. Here. Now. Then why am I so tempted to live in the past? To live...backwards.
Don’t we all start living backwards after a while? The old man becomes a child again. The clock hands forget themselves and decide to take a turn. Resignation becomes expectation. Even the butterfly transforms into a caterpillar. Time plays tricks on us. It can do whatever it wants. It’s larger than life.
There’s an hourglass in my heart
every time it turns
I grow a little younger;
I’m learning to do everything backwards now.
Soon, I’ll be falling in love for the first time
after a while I’ll forget his name
and why there are only four seasons
but so many kinds of weather.
I might even forget how to bend the truth
in order to preserve my innocence.
The doctors call it a wondrous rejuvenation
– this is merely a sad misunderstanding.
I’m actually suffering from a philosophical death
I’m shedding the crust of life layer by layer
until I get a hold of its essence
untainted by the triviality of time.