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On Virginity

A language trainer & a passionate learner, eager to learn from everyone around. "Language is a form of river that doesn't have any boundary"

on-virginity

The Leading Lord and the Led Lady

Who are you to ask me if I’m a virgin

Who are you to check the authenticity of my hymen

Who are you to judge me based on my configuration?

I have not given that liberty to any of your dominion

To comment or criticize on any of my personal regions

As for centuries I’ve been tortured by your questions.

How dare you forget, as you, I too am a human,

Like you, I too have rights, dreams and expectations

But you kept on ruling on me as one of your possessions.

When young, in sports I might have lost my virginity,

In some accident I might have lost it unconsciously,

Or it would have lost in some infatuation willingly,

But why will you understand my problems silly

As you are so engrossed in your world of follies,

Considering yourself as the godfather of humanity.

How hypocritic you’re to expect me as a chaste lady

While you’re known to have many in real or in fantasy,

Just proving yourself the king of your hypothetical dynasty.

Hypocrisy of the Men Dominated Society

No, no, I am not at all a feminist or feel that women should get anything more than the men. I never speak in favour of women as I do believe that gender never comes in between right or wrong. It's just a person who does an action, whether good or bad. It's not male or female but just the individual himself or herself responsible for his/her actions.

In the journey of my life, I have seen numerous men so chaste and earthly who don't even know what disloyalty means. At the same time, I have come across so many cunning and disrespectful women who don't have any idea about humanity or chastity.

But my observation of the well that I lived in doesn't signify the whole vast society, its norms, customs and regulations which have always been harsher for the women as compared to the men. It's okay for a man to cheat his wife but if a woman does the same she is considered as a witch. It's okay for a man to forget his responsibilities but a woman dare not do that. It's okay for a man to do whatever he wishes to but the woman will have numerous restrictions. Her eating, walking, communicating, doing the chores, everything is observed and expected to be done in a particular manner.

Recently, I was surprised to read an article on virginity where the data of those women were shared who go for some cosmetic surgery to get their hymen back. On amazon there was a capsule or some pouch with which fake blood could be shown to the husband just to prove the virginity. I was horrified with this height of obsession for virginity and with the fact that women too were accompanying this madness of the men.


© 2020 Anupam Mitu

Comments

Nithya Venkat from Dubai on October 02, 2020:

It is appalling that women are subjected to such scrutiny even to this day. The last line of your poem rings true of what it actually is - a hypothetical dynasty.

Ann Carr from SW England on October 02, 2020:

A very brave comment indeed, Anupam. It is terrible that women are subjected to such treatment and such hypocrisy. Sadly this still exists in too many parts of the world, maybe everywhere. Well done for speaking out.

Ann

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on October 02, 2020:

Thank you so much RoadMonkey for noticing this article.

I have been too bold in writing this article. You won't believe that it was in draft for more than three months (the thought) but somehow I was not getting the strength to write on such topics.

It's nothing but the hypocritical behaviour of the men dominated society where a man with many ladies is famous as a superman while the lady gets the name of a whore.

I know that single voice can't bring any change to the society but at least with doing so by expressing our views we are able to release the inner fire.

There is one more issue about which I would like to write soon, on the torture of women for pornography. There are many websites which have rape videos and they don't remove it unless the victim files a case. That too I had read in an article and was filled with hatred for such websites. I don't know whether hubpages welcomes such bold write-up or not.

RoadMonkey on October 02, 2020:

Yes, such double standards! Of course, the woman has more to lose - possible pregnancy; abandoned; the criticism by society of a single mother; hardship. It's not so long back that in Ireland, single mothers were imprisoned in the Magdalene laundries, and labelled as moral imbeciles! It's not just as bad now, yet language still contains the double standards, he is "experienced", she is "easy" and there are many more examples. In some other countries, it is expected that the woman should be able to "prove" virginity, with marriages annulled if she is not! With such pressure, it is no wonder that these products and services are available! They should not be necessary.

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on October 01, 2020:

Thank you so much John for being such a genuine friend

I hope you too can empathise with me. How great it feels when our words reach even a fee heart.

Thanks dear for your constant support by going through my heartfelt words.

I was stupidified when I saw this thing on amazon and then read an article on virginity where girls are going for such operations in which their life too is in danger. So just to appease this stupid wish of a man, the girls need to go to such an extent?

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on October 01, 2020:

Wow, I applaud you for writing this Anupam. I am shocked by the product available on Amazon containing fake blood to deceive a husband, but with the lengths people go to with plastic surgery it doesn’t surprise me too much that women use it to seemingly restore their virginity. Though it is sad that they should think it necessary to do so because of men’s preferences. A wonderfully brave poem and commentary.