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I’m Not Sending Christmas Cards This Year

 

There are people, and surely you know some,

Who have told you already, this year,

That they won’t be sending out C cards

The ones full of Greetings and Cheer

 

They say that their reasons are simple

They say that their motives are clean

They just think the whole thing’s expensive

And the whole Christmas Card thing’s obscene.

not_sending_christmas_cards_this_year

 

So this year they’re saving the money

From postage and cards, as I said,

And giving all that as donations

To projects that they like instead.

not_sending_christmas_cards_this_year

 

For example, homes and vacations

For retired Greyhounds and Donkeys,

Or nearly (if not) extinct species

Of Apes, Gorillas and Monkeys.

not_sending_christmas_cards_this_year
Kitty undergoing an Identity Crisis

Kitty undergoing an Identity Crisis

 

And crèches for hard working Gerbils,

And apartments for Squirrels and Bats.

And Awaydays for Camels at seasides,

And counselling for Bunnies and Cats.

not_sending_christmas_cards_this_year

And Wildebeest sanctuaries set up,

In Surrey or Kent or a zoo.

For there’s no beast alive, I can think of,

Deserves more than the unfortunate Gnu.

 

 

No wonder they always look fed up!

No wonder they always look glum!

If they manage to survive trampling or drowning,

They end up in some fierce Big Cat’s tum.

No wonder they always look fed up.

No wonder they always look fed up.

 

But I don’t think I really care that much

About any high minded attempt

To save anything much at the moment,

But please don’t look on me with contempt.

I'm not sending any, so don't bother sending to me.

I'm not sending any, so don't bother sending to me.


So I’m also not sending a card, dear,

And as this “poem” reaches its ending,

I think it is time to inform you........

This is the card I’m not sending.



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