Not Another Coronavirus Article! - LetterPile - Writing and Literature
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Not Another Coronavirus Article!

John values the use of humour and enjoys writing and reading limericks and jokes. He is a fan of Dr. Seuss, Edward Lear and Shel Silverstein

Coronavirus: Image by Vektor Kunst from Pixabay

Coronavirus: Image by Vektor Kunst from Pixabay

The Coronavirus: Changing the World As We Know It

People around the world are currently living in fear and panic as this new and deadly virus spreads and multiplies from country to country. international travel is at a standstill, borders are closed, even local domestic travel is restricted. Businesses like restaurants, bars, places of worship and other public meeting places are closed. Public transport has been halted or restricted and any social gathering discouraged or limited and people told to stay at home if possible. The world as we know it is changing, and that's a fact.

Almost every news headline, on TV, the Internet (including HubPages), radio and newspapers (if anyone still reads them) is about the coronavirus. Yes, it is a concern and I am not downplaying that, but all this stress and panic, in fact, lowers our immune system and makes us even more susceptible to this virus. With that in mind, I thought a little humour to try and lighten the situation was in store. With that said, I hope you enjoy my poem "I Hate This Coronavirus!"


Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again.

— Anaïs Nin

Aurora Borialis: If I have to self isolate and practice safe distancing, what better way?

Aurora Borialis: If I have to self isolate and practice safe distancing, what better way?

I Hate This Coronavirus!

I hate this coronavirus,

It really makes me sick.

I’m practicing good hygiene

And my trips to town are quick.


I’m obeying social distancing,

I blow kisses to my wife,

Wash my hands ten times a day,

And just try to live my life.


We’ve stocked our shelves with cans of food

And essentials that we’ll need,

Enough loo paper for a year

To beat other shoppers’ greed.


I wear a mask and gloves and shit

Whenever I’m in public,

And feel like Marcus Welby

In a panic filled republic.

My favourite restaurant is closed

And so is the church and gym.

A friend dropped by the other day

So, I shared a beer with him.


Well, more than just one beer I guess,

It was probably more like ten.

I know you’ll say “that’s risky,” and I should take more care

But I wanted to be sociable and not insult my friend.


The next day I felt horrid,

With a headache and a cough.

The toilet paper took a hit,

I’m glad I had enough.


Despite all the precautions

I’ve got the virus bad.

No more Corona beers for me,

My life will be so sad.

https://favpng.com/

https://favpng.com/

Home is a shelter from storms-all sorts of storms.

— William J. Bennett

Are You Prepared?

A Must Watch: Get the Message

© 2020 John Hansen

Comments

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on May 07, 2020:

Marcy, I can understand your frustration being in lockdown until the end of June. Our politicians are deciding today on a plan to begin easing restrictions thank goodness. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Stay safe.

Marcy Bialeschki from Cerro Gordo, IL on May 07, 2020:

I'm also over it...and I live in Illinois and our Governor has us on lockdown until the end of June. Over it! I enjoyed the poem...I can relate.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on April 09, 2020:

Hi Greg. Yes, if we spend all our time being fearful and stressing we end up compromising our immune systems and make ourselves more susceptible to the virus. We need to take every opportunity to laugh and take things a little less seriously. If I can bring a few chuckles with this I have done my bit.

greg cain from Moscow, Idaho, USA on April 09, 2020:

John - like you, I think, I'm trying to keep things "less heavy," and believe my family and I are succeeding at that. We are doing our part to keep distance, stay at home, scrub the skin off our hands with soap...and do and think about anything else to keep our minds and bodies occupied. Your poem gave me a good chuckle, and I am sure it will do the same for many others. Thanks for that.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on April 05, 2020:

That makes sense Eric....so every time you wash your hands you need to have a beer as well.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on April 05, 2020:

Very fun. Let me see here. We are told to use hand sanitizer with alcohol in it. So beer is just the next logical step it seems.

Mel Carriere from San Diego California on April 02, 2020:

There was an Emu Lager we bought in Perth at one of those drive through liquor stores, along with the local tequila, called Pepe Lopez. Not surprisingly, I don't remember much about that night thirty years ago. Yes it's true, people are avoiding Corona beer like the plague.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on April 02, 2020:

Haha thanks Mel. Is there actually a beer called Emu? Would love to try that being an Aussie. Have people really stopped drinking Coronas because of the virus? Glad this gave you a laugh.

Mel Carriere from San Diego California on April 02, 2020:

I got a couple chuckles out of this poem. You may joke about Corona beer not being stocked in your bar anymore, but my son works in retail, and he says they are returning whole pallets of the stuff unsold. I'll take an Emu over a Corona any day, anyway!

I joke with my friends that the pandemic isn't really affecting my lifestyle, because my wife and I were already social distancing prior to the crisis.

Thanks for the laughs. Take care of yourself.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 30, 2020:

Hi Holley, thanks for reading. We need to try to find humour wherever we can, even during a pandemic. I agree laughter improves the Immune system and I am glad you appreciated the Anaïs Nin quote too.

Holley Hyler from Upstate New York on March 30, 2020:

Your humor is an immune system booster! I love the quote by Anaïs Nin you included. That's certainly a more empowering way of looking at this situation.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 28, 2020:

Thank you Margaret. Your comment is greatly appreciated.

Margaret Pan from Athens on March 28, 2020:

This is a very fun, light and heart-warming piece! Well written!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 27, 2020:

Hey Peg, yeah I had fun writing it and hoped the readers would get a chuckle. What can I say about the video lol? Thanks for reading.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on March 27, 2020:

Your poem was a fun piece to read this morning. That video took a serious subject to new heights. Haha!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 26, 2020:

I am glad I made you laugh Shauna, even if it was another coronavirus article. Stay safe my friend.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on March 26, 2020:

Thanks for lightening things up, John. I watch the news to stay informed, but when I look to see what my writer friends are up to, I really don't want to read about COVID-19. We're more creative than that, as you've just proven.

Excellent poem, John. You made me laugh!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 26, 2020:

Thank you for reading this Rajan. I hoped that a little humour may lift people’s spirits, at least for a short time.

Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on March 25, 2020:

Amid all the panic this poem sure will lighten the load of coronavirus we are carrying on our minds. Thank you and sharing this one, John.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 25, 2020:

Hi MsDora, yes maybe the Corona beer is the answer all along. It may be the cure for the virus lol. Thanks for reading.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 25, 2020:

Thanks for sharing this Brenda. We all need a good laugh at the moment.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on March 25, 2020:

Shouldn't the Corona beer have flushed out the corona virus? Just checking. Yes, you have lightened the mood.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on March 25, 2020:

Shared this one.

https://www.facebook.com/101958054719811/posts/129...

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on March 25, 2020:

This is a cute one. We all need to laugh a bit during this horrible time of lockdown.

Corona beer may well do good in this time.

I hope all is well with you and your family.

Thanks for sharing.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 25, 2020:

I am glad you enjoyed this Peg. It was fun to write something humorous amid all the worry and depression around at the moment. Glad you liked the Marcus Welty line.

Peg Cole from Northeast of Dallas, Texas on March 25, 2020:

What a fine wit you are, John. I laughed all the way through this funny poem about the current state of affairs we're in. Particularly loved the line about Marcus Welby! Wonderful and uplifting humor in a sea of bad news.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 25, 2020:

Thank you Liz, I really thought the mood would need all th lightening it can get at the moment. There isn’t a lot of good news in the world. A friend actually asked how they could by shares in Corona beer because they thought it may have the opposite effect. Glad you enjoyed.

Liz Westwood from UK on March 25, 2020:

Thanks for lightening the mood. I just watched breakfast news. So I was in need of something a little lighter. I noticed Corona beer was on offer in the supermarket a fortnight ago. I hear sales have taken a hit due to its now unfortunate name.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 25, 2020:

Yes, Diana, humour is badly needed at times like this. Thank you for reading my poem.

Diana Carol Abrahamson from Somerset West on March 24, 2020:

A sense of humour can help the mind, from going down the hole of negativity.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 24, 2020:

Hello Lorna. Glad you liked the rhyme and the humour. Yes, we need it.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 24, 2020:

Thank you Rinita. glad you found it funny. Laughter is a good cure for most ills.

Lorna Lamon on March 24, 2020:

Just what we need John a dose of humour, which more than anything else will help us through these tough times. Clever rhyming.

Rinita Sen on March 24, 2020:

Indeed. It's hilarious. Just what we needed. Good work as always, John.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Haha Shannon. I'll try the cocktails next time. Cheers.

Shannon Henry from Texas on March 23, 2020:

I knew there was a reason I can't stand to drink beer! You should've gone with a cocktail. LOL

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Hi MizB, I don't think it matters whether you get a chuckle in the morning or night as long as you laugh. I don't drink Corona regularly either but it is quite a mild flavoured beer and quite easy to drink. Thank you for reading and commenting.

Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on March 23, 2020:

John, didn't see this until tonight, but it brought a smile just before I give it up and start to bed. Actually it was more of a chuckle than a smile. I don't remember ever having a Corona, but my late son liked them. He managed a liquor store for 11 years. I have to stick with Red Bridge or Daura (gluten-free beers made of sorghum). So "cheers" to you.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Good to see your comment Laurinzoscott. I am glad this gave you a laugh in these trying times. I think we all need more of that at the moment. Take care.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Donna, so lad I gave you a smile today. God bless and stay safe.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Thanks for laughing Bushra. Cheers.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Ruby, a gallon of wine may not be a cure but I am sure it would help at least forget about the coronavirus for awhile. Yes, we will get through this. Apparently regular laughter kills the virus.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Vidya, thank you so much for reading. I’m just trying to do my bit to lift people’s spirits a little. Things may be bad in the world but we still need to laugh.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Hey manatita, thanks for the kind comment. We need to laugh at the moment, and yeah I loved that video.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Glad you enjoyed this poem, Pamela. It is in trying and stressful time like this that we need a touch of humour to lighten things up. I was hoping that toilet paper line would be a hit lol.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Tiyasha, thank you for the generous comment and I am glad you enjoyed the poem. I have not resorted to wearing a mask yet but I have mostly been alone at home. Like you however, on Thursday I need to journey to another town to pick up my wife who has been staying with my son’s family for a few weeks, so I will need to wear one then. I am sure it is an eerie feeling with the streets almost deserted.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Hello Marie. Oh yes, Corona is a popular Mexican beer and the name means “crown.” They say one glass of beer a day is good for the health. Thanks for the kind comment about my rhythm and rhyme. I guess it is pretty much my signature now.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Hi Li-Jen no fortunately I don’t have the virus. I wonder how sales of Corona beer are doing at the moment. Some uninformed people probably do blame it on the beer lol. Yes, all this washing hands etc does make me feel like I have OCD lol. Glad you enjoyed the poem. Take care.

Laurinzoscott from Kanab, Utah on March 23, 2020:

OMG John H. ...you blow" kisses to your wife",...lmao .. Enough "loo paper for a year"

Great one John , I needed a good laugh...God knows. I did

Donna Rayne from Greenwood, In on March 23, 2020:

Love this! Thank you for putting a smile on my face!

God bless,

Donna Rayne

Anya Ali from Rabwah, Pakistan on March 23, 2020:

LOL!

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on March 23, 2020:

I wonder if wine would help? If so, I would drink a gallon, or perhaps it would be a cure? Your poem made me laugh and boy did I need it. We will get through this, hang in there and write more fun poems.

VIDYA D SAGAR on March 23, 2020:

A beautiful poem John. We needed a bit of humor to uplift our spirits in these difficult times. Thanks for sharing.

manatita44 from london on March 23, 2020:

Crazily hilarious video and as for the poetry, you do have some awesome lines: 'And my trips to town are quick.'

'I’m obeying social distancing,

I blow kisses to my wife...'

Fine piece of writing!

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on March 23, 2020:

It is nice to have a bit of humor in these trying times. I liked the line that said, "The toilet paper took a hit,". This was a very funny poem. John, you always write such uplifting poetry and this was no exception.

Tiyasha Maitra from Gurgaon on March 23, 2020:

A perfect description of the situation and a specially well done humour. Loved it John. As usual your rhyme sense has upheld the beauty of the poem.

Such an apocalyptic feel to see so few lives on the streets. I had to travel today from one city to another on account of family. So many hours of the trusted mask was making me feel out of breath. But like every other rightfully paranoid individual i did not take it off.

Take care and stay safe. My best wishes to you and your family.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Linda, I am glad this brought a smile despite 20 days of self-quarantine. Stay healthy.

Marie Flint from Jacksonville, FL USA on March 23, 2020:

This reminds me of my forum post, which I'm no longer following. I had NO IDEA there was a Corona beer! Ha!

A quick look at the online dictionary shows there's a definition for "corona" in meteorology, anatomy, astronomy, and botany. I guess soon they'll be noting one for pathology too, as the prefix for the subject virus.

I enjoyed your clever, signature rhythm and rhyme. Hey a glass of beer in the evening for the elderly is supposedly good for kidney function.

Blessings!

Li-Jen Hew on March 23, 2020:

Haha I almost thought you got the virus. Corona beers. Poor brand. I like how you summarise how you feel about Covid-19. Washing hands excessively is like being a clean freak or OCD but now it's considered being more careful. Good question. Are we prepared? Hope not. Haha. Don't want the virus to stay. Thanks for sharing and glad you created one poem about the virus.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

It is no good panicking, Bill. We can only do our best to follow the recommendations and the rest we have no control over. What will be will be. Blessings to you and Bev as well.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Hope you enjoyed that beer Clive. Cheers.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on March 23, 2020:

John, you can find a way to make us smile even now. Thanks for this; what a great start to yet another dull day (#20 of self-quarantine). I'm running out of things to clean.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on March 23, 2020:

No panic in our household. It's an ugly thing but it will pass. Until it does there will be deaths. That's just the real of it. We are doing what we can, and living our lives with love. That's the best we can do.

Blessings to you always, John!

Clive Williams from Jamaica on March 23, 2020:

Just drank a Corona beer. Cheers!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

Hey Rebecca, Thanks for reading this. Music and laughter are two good ways to get through these times.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 23, 2020:

yes, Devika, staying home is the best move. Keep l;aiughing, it will help get you through this.

Rebecca Mealey from Northeastern Georgia, USA on March 23, 2020:

That is too cute! Now I'm going to turn off the TV and listen to music.

Devika Primic on March 23, 2020:

I am positive through these times and staying home. It is a difficult time for the world and a laugh helps all the way

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 22, 2020:

Hi Fam. Thank you for reading this and I am glad you enjoyed it. Stay safe.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 22, 2020:

Flourish, I was singing "My Corona" the other day too. Great minds think alike. I certainly hope your husband doesn't contact the virus on his travels. I can't see this going away soon but I pray they develop a vaccine and get it out there soon.

Fam on March 22, 2020:

A good read! It refreshes the minds, when the terrible news about the deadly virus outbreak and the rising numbers of the panic stricken people had prevailed around.

Thanks for sharing it.

FlourishAnyway from USA on March 22, 2020:

That’s a good one John. I am ready for this to go away. I’ve been singing “My Corona” (to the tune of “My Sharona”) to my husband who still has to work a regular schedule because of the industry he’s in. He travels a lot so I’m not sure I’ll let him back in the house. Too risky. He’s a walking vector in my book although I gave him a huge roll of Chlorox wipes and he has gloves and all.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 22, 2020:

Chitrangada, your comment is greatly appreciated. Even in the most difficult situations we have to try and find any occasion that gives us an opportunity to laugh. It helps keep us from full-on depression and to keep us sane. So glad this brought you a smile.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on March 22, 2020:

Thank you for sharing this John. It was much needed.

All that is happening around our wonderful planet, is so depressing. Just scare, panic, uncertainly, negativity and everything, which makes us sad and disturbed, for our fellow humans.

In these testing times, it's important to remain positive and have patience.

Your poem brings smile and thank you for that.

Stay Safe, calm and Take Care.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 22, 2020:

Hi Jason, it's good that you can relate to my corona virus...oops...I mean hangover. Cheers.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 22, 2020:

I am glad that you enjoyed this bit of light humour, Rosina, and that it gave you a smile. We need to get a laugh wherever we can find it at this time. You stay safe also.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on March 22, 2020:

hey Kyler, thanks for reading. Glad this gave you a laugh. You stay safe too.

Jason Nicolosi from AZ on March 22, 2020:

Ya, you got that corona alright. The Corona Hangover. Haha. I had that one too recently. Great poem John. Just what we all need, a good laugh.

Rosina S Khan on March 22, 2020:

Now, this is a funny Coronavirus poem, John. I had to smile. I especially like the quote:

Home is a shelter from storms-all sorts of storms.

— William J. Bennett

Thank you for giving us fun moments through your poem and hub. Anyways stay safe and sound.

Kyler J Falk from Corona, CA on March 22, 2020:

Ha! This had me rolling, and is definitely needed in these hectic times.

Stay safe out there!