Daydreaming nihilist. Code maniac with a coffee addiction. Music, movie buff. High functioning alcoholic.
When people call me. Tell me, come over tonight, for
Just the two drinks, just the two faces which I know is a lie,
I analyse. I've already thought this more than twice.
It never appeals to my introverted side.
I battle, dawdle and tell myself it'll be fine.
What can be the worst? Maybe Seneca was right.
Gather myself, I step into the limelight, of
Long known comrades and their social burlesques.
Here we go. My performance at parties is a mess.
My skin is crawling at ostentatious guests, & yet
I've a role to play. My patience is as diddly as this screenplay.
Im at risk so I grab the scotch and now it's cheat day.
Im cheating myself. Alcohol for sociability is a mistake
Because when this wears off, that void will still stay.
It will hold hands with loneliness & scream for attention.
It tugs on, pinches and punches with aggression.
But for now, I've to show the crowd my affection.
To my friends, that are now deep. Intoxication
Is abreast. By half past five nothing makes any sense.
Peers with low inhibitions, full with silliness.
Asinine behaviour in its effervescence
Is a sign to leave, crawl down the stairs
And back home to my bed.
Soon the next day hits us like a church bell
Clunking and chiming songs of despair.
Void and loneliness have found a new friend
Brevity of life. The three musketeers of death.
© 2021 W h o I s I