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Nightmares of 10:22

I thought I saw your face


Your piercing blue eyes

Your chiclet teeth

I thought I saw you

All I saw was me


I awoke suddenly

Terrified with hope

That maybe this wasn't a dream

Maybe it was a joke


You weren't really gone, they said

Grinning between their dimples

He just let you fade away

It really is that simple


He wanted to trick and connive you

With the sincerest of belief

That the path you should've chosen

Was parted from his feet


He wanted to keep his friendships

Some of his family, too

The only reason for faking his death

Was to get away from you


I confronted him with passion

Limbs trembling with fear

My vision steady with his eyes

Insisting that he hear


He replied in anger

Animosity at the least

He looked stunned and said,

"Turn away from me


I wanted you to believe it

For two years now, you have

That I really have been gone

Your dear and precious dad


You took for granted when I was gifted

My only shot at life

Now that I'm living again

Loneliness will be your wife


Leave me alone, daughter

You were never supposed to find

That I loved life outside of you

That, I can decide


It was all an elaborate prank

Oh, just as you wished

Now I'm gone forever

Without so much as a kiss


You cry about me daily

You think about me at night

Ironic how little I crossed your mind

When I was in plain sight


I hope to regain sentience

Without you being a part

You thought that avoiding me

Was so incredibly smart


That's right


Run away from dysfunction

Run away from your fears

When you decide to return

As expected, I won't be here


Write about me in your poems

I'll visit you at night

Causing grief in the morning

Your anguish is my delight


You wish that you could change

That you could throw roses at my laces

That you could rid yourself of guilt

And enter my good graces


It's a little too late for penitence

Far too far for remorse

Your guilt was buried with my ashes

Your love, with my corpse


I wish you hollowed eyes

I wish you gnashing of teeth

I wish you a painful death

I wish you the life of me."

© 2019 Jordan Hertaus

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