Never Been Loved
Creator Help Me Please
I’m strong because of fighting.
Fighting back tears, for so many years;
Shapes your emotions...
and yes your face
... definitely my face.
Now even when I am happy,
this scowl is unmovable.
I am sad,
A perpetual feeling of doom rests on my breast,
It presses down on my chest.
I’m weighted down,
I am tired for no reason,
No motivation, no direction.
I wish that my heart would smile,
I wish the higher powers would explain to me my cause.
I am forever pushing and pulling
To make a way for the world, but
I often stop to wonder,
I have never been loved.
Always empty words; no til death
do us part. No real companions,
Just a hope soaked heart.
Now even it’s luster is fading;
And I have returned to not being able to sleep at night.
Wishing, hoping, and praying for
someone to be by my side.
It seems as if it’s a curse, and maybe my
Ancestors are to blame. No hands to hold, no arms around me; no one who loves saying my name.
I was never small enough, butt wasn’t big enough, wasn’t pretty enough, wasn’t quiet enough, I am never enough.
I tuck it in and walk away, still wondering why I can’t be loved.
Creator if you made us in pairs,
Send my distress signal through the air;
Let him know that I need him please;
I am begging you, I’m on my knees.
I can no longer do this alone, my life has been a long lonely one; if he still walks this earth please send him to me, from this torture I need to be set free.
I just need his conversation and for him to spend time with me, I want him to be my best friend and not lie to me.
Maybe take walks in the park, sharing the contents of our hearts, we can coexist easily, just send someone to love me.