Mystified Melancholy

Updated on July 20, 2018

19/07/2018

I'm arrested with this mystified melancholy in my bosom
Futile and fatigued ashen my timid nature
Extensive battered despondent in my bosom
Is an ancient sorrow I've been enduring since a teenager.

Life's little lessons when sharpened by God's Word and His love began to colour my heart :)
Life's little lessons when sharpened by God's Word and His love began to colour my heart :) | Source

I couldn't believe my eyes as I was caught off guard
The overwhelming insult squashed the cherished affection
In return my heart crumpled and I failed to guard
Still battle with vanished assurance in a reliable companion.

The shocking revelation of whom I thought my friend paralyzed my soul
Yet I warm up easily and transparent with a distance
Whether it's a male or a female, the struggle is real
But now I'm petrified with the notion of closing that distance .


Source

Probably because of this fuzzy tangled recollection of eleven years ago
Conceiving a vision at the first glimpse near the stairs
As an Alien glided through the crowd, the picture began to flow
Mr. Alien standing with a red and brown long haired gorgeous.


I was alarmed, astounded and found him mind boggling
Back then my stupid curiosity inquired Pinkish Priest who seems to know him
Whether Mr.Alien ever had a multi-coloured hair girlfriend to make a better understanding
Then I was told I had to be more than twenty to know about him.


I was puzzled as to what my age has to do with a simple question
Then I just couldn't be bothered about the strange weird unknown person
Although many babbled each time a different assumption
I was determined to keep away from the never ending smiling Alien.

Source


Mr. Joy exclaimed that Mr. Alien is more like the local Mr. Bean!
I noticed the similarity but my fear of him didn't lessened
My plate was already full by the end of being a teen
As being betrayed by two closest friends made my heart weakened.


By the end of my twentieth year Mr. Alien testified
About his unrequited love which led to dedicate fully to Christ
How Papa God provided him financially for college when he applied
And his forgiveness to the father who cast his mom and him aside.


I was marveled by his exemplary exceptional compassionate character
I found his testimony fascinating and awe-inspiring
Maybe it was the first time a child forgave the divorced father
I began to admire and learn from his life teaching.


However, when I saw him easily angered at children
Although he tried to teach us as if nothing happened
My child fears arose as his face turned into a scary person
I began to see him like an enormous monsterous giant.

Source

After all, he wear giant shoes and got giant hands
He got a bouncy pot belly which is quite big
Then I learnt about him sharing his time and generous with helping hands
At a cancer hospital, I began to adore his heart so big.


His friends and other leaders often took the mickey out of him
I found his facial expressions amusing and appealing
I began to appreciate his kindness and cared about him
As I liked his method of teaching and his help in my book editing.


But was surprised since the day I got butterflies in my stomach
Knowing that I'm drawn to my teacher who had dedicated his singleness to Christ
I wanted to disappear as I was embarressed and sick to my stomach
I didn't wanted to be hated,accused and blamed for being a stumbling block for one's life.


I was relieved knowing that he doesn’t like me
I only grabbed the opportunity to let the rhymes flow out of me
Whether it is for the better or worst Papa God helps me
To let go of my childhood fragments twirling in my mind through this mystified melancholy

© 2018 rdsparrowriter

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    • rdsparrowriter profile imageAUTHOR

      rdsparrowriter 

      2 months ago

      My goodness no way! My anxiety level would be over the roof. Besides why would anyone need to go to singapore when there are spoken platforms available in my country ? To speak the Word of God need to reach out to people in person. If it means to speak to an audience can join a poetry slam competition or Toastmasters. Just saying :) Anyway thanks for the visit into my hub Manatita :)

    • rdsparrowriter profile imageAUTHOR

      rdsparrowriter 

      2 months ago

      Thank you Patty for Visiting my hub :)

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      2 months ago from london

      A lot in this poem. You would probably do well at stand up Spoken Word. They will have them in Singapore. Try Google.

      God is our strength and our Salvation. Let us continue to be good instruments. Much Love.

    • pattyfloren profile image

      Patty Florence 

      2 months ago from Illinois

      Really nice touch!

    • rdsparrowriter profile imageAUTHOR

      rdsparrowriter 

      2 months ago

      Thank you Sir Billy :) Wise words :) God bless you !

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      2 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Five simple words, taught to me long ago by a mentor who deemed me worthy...let go and let God! I've tried to remember and live by those five words. Blessings to you always!

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