For years I’ve been hidden,
Creating an air of mystery,
Yet symbolising love,
I came in terms with my solitude.
Until one fair night,
While the stars where busy playing with their light,
I felt a burning gaze on me,
And there went everything I came in terms with.
Crying brightly in the dark sky,
Illuminating everything around me,
Forcing the cherubins to leave their abode,
After years of being alone, this is what I feared the most.
I still feel that burning gaze on me,
Piercing my soul until all I felt was its burn,
Mind you its not out of anger or hatred,
But strong passion which burns stronger than its body.
After numerous attempts of pushing away the cherubins,
They left with a promise to visit again,
I sigh staring into the space,
Acknowledging everything but not the gaze.
I wonder why is it just me who weeps,
Never understanding why I fell in a situation like this,
I don’t wish to share my feelings with anyone,
Partly because I’m possessive of my memories and partly because I don’t want be pitied.
These days I shine the brightest in the sky,
I know the reason but it hurts my heart,
When one day finally,
I look at those burning orbs.
We couldn’t take our eyes of eachother,
I saw his eyes burning with fervour,
And felt the river of feelings sparkling in me,
After years, this felt like the most right thing to do.
Days passed like this,
I would wake up feeling that warmth,
And that very same warmth would lull me to sleep,
Until the cherubins kept their promise.
Oh from where should I start my story,
A story so tragic that even the beginning seems like an end,
The melodies from the harp made me cry more,
Because that harp was where my journey started.
I was quite the mysterious girl,
Quiet and bright,
Loved playing with the stars,
Finding comfort in the dark.
Everything was so pleasant and calm,
Until I met this man,
The man who bewitched me so bad that it made no sense,
The man who made me feel warm for the first time.
And there went my mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights,
In his warm embrace, igniting my heart,
How in contrast it felt when I’d look up at him,
His burning eyes staring into my cold ones.
It was all peaceful until the cosmos formed,
We held our hands and witnessed something new,
So in love we felt like we should take the next step,
Amidst the celebration of new life, we wanted to witness all this together.
But who knew our perfect story would end this way,
Before we could approach the holy deity she called us to her,
Giving us titles of high honour, new responsibilities were bestowed on us,
That night our souls were in sync as his warmth engulfed me completely.
The Sun and The Moon they called us,
Him a burning ball of passion and warmth,
Me a cold ball of mystery and beauty,
Even though with the new life we couldn’t talk about us,
It was absolutely perfect.
Maybe I said that too early,
Our first day as the element was nothing short of amazing,
But what we didn’t realise was how it would affect us,
Oblivious to all we kept working.
After the first day when the holy deity called us,
We thanked her for this precious title,
We returned back to our place,
And immediately rushed into his awaiting arms.
I let out a piercing scream,
And once we separated, tears started flowing down my face uncontrollably,
He kneeled and brushed of my tears which made me scream more,
His touch burned me.
My screams alerted the holy deity,
And she sent her guards to get me,
The nurturing cherubins tried healing me,
But who would heal my breaking heart.
No one asked anything about how it burned so bad,
The holy deity strictly told him to stay apart,
My love was isolated from me,
And he was left their burning alone and this time I couldn’t even go near him.
Days passed and i felt getting weaker,
He was the only source of energy for me,
Who knew our titles would cause so us to break apart,
I silently shed tears each night.
I kept shedding tears until my heart couldn’t take it anymore,
I was determined and feared nothing,
After my duties there was still time,
I rushed through the empty halls to where he was.
There I found him, his warmth engulfing the entire area,
I forced open the door and was ready to jump into his arms,
Until the star cherubins pushed me away,
I yelled and screamed until I collapsed right there.
The holy deity summoned me the very next day,
I hung my head low and walked weakly,
Everyone in her palace were astonished by my behaviour,
And all I could say was, “I don’t fear burning for him.”
They gasped and sent me away,
Because it was too late now,
And since then I decided to forget him,
But love is a cruel thing, isn’t it?
As I finished my story,
There was silence all around,
I looked up and the first thing I saw was his eyes,
But just this time instead of fire, there was a small flame.
“Just once, just one I need to feel him, is it too much to ask for?”, and I broke into tears,
After several minutes, I took a deep breath,
Looked at the cherubins and said what I had said all those years back,
“I’d still burn for him.”
“Why?”, I heard a voice address me,
Without any hesitance I professed my undying love for him,
As I spoke those words a blinding light fell on us,
I didn’t need to look up to know whose light it was, it was him.
An unknown power coursed through my weak heart,
Because after so long I felt that warmth that I forever craved for,
I shone brightly,
And for the first time nothing was mysterious about me.
I refused to speak any further,
My craters which were once hidden under the sparkles were now exposed,
I was capable of feeling nothing,
I sighed, waiting for this night to end.
The pain inflicted on me was too much to bear,
I slowly felt my surroundings becoming dim,
Was this the end of me I wondered,
All alone freezing in the corner.
A warm hand pulled me back to reality,
I could not process what was happening,
And before I could process it all,
I draped myself on his body weeping so hard.
I traced his features with my fingertips,
It was like muscle memory,
Like I knew every part of him as he did mine,
Even after so many years of being separated.
The holy deity smiled on seeing us together,
She let us be for the time being,
We did have a lot of love to physically share,
Since our eyes did rest of the work.
Amidst our sweet murmurs and caresses, The holy deity appeared,
She smiled and said, “ Your meeting will be known as the eclipse, twice a year you may cross paths with each other, on this day the sun’s powers will be taken away and you both shall meet.”,
We were overjoyed by her words.
But, “for the times you may meet, there’ll be two times in a year when you both will be forbidden to see eachother.”,
I did not care about the rules,
The only thing that mattered to me was being with him,
I did not care if it was the holy deity in front of me but I instantly attached myself to his body.
Its been year since I’ve been blessed with this beautiful journey of mine,
I smile and rest my head on my love’s chest,
“They say they want to love like the moon.”, says my sun,
I giggled and snuggled closer.
“They should be more like my sun, because even after being isolated, he kept loving and kept burning.”, murmured moon,
And maybe in the end it didn’t really matter,
As long as you love, it doesn’t matter whom you love like,
Because love should be like you.
© 2021 Ishita Bose
Roshena from Baguio City, Philippines on March 31, 2021: