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My Sad Poem

I write about mental health because I struggle daily with Schizophrenia and I know what it means to have a source to help me when I'm lost.


Chaos! Chaos! is all my mind says I don't know why this keeps happening. Maybe it's because I'm far from God or maybe.. just maybe it's because he's not close. The chaos in me can no longer be caged. It's like a cage panther ready to pounce. It holds me down daily, it makes me feel worthless. When I'm happy I get scared, what if I get too excited and something set of my Depression, Anxiety or even worse my Psychosis. I'm constantly living on the edge,I could go to my comfort zone but my comfort zone is me loading up on coffee so that caffeine will take over and I can quietly be depressed, cry and self loathe. I keep fighting the suicide thoughts but for how long can I keep fighting a loosing battle. I'm scared of the sunrise and sunset of each day cause I don't know what it might bring. I'm scared that my friends will leave me and it'll be 2019 all over. I'm scared I might give in to the suicidal tendencies.

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Chris ham