Rdsparrowriter is a Sri Lankan Poetess written story books in poetry form. She's passionate and writes from heart covering subjects.
Why letting go is so heart breaking?
Why do I feel I have abandon my love?
Why do I feel I have betrayed the trust?
Why do I feel so sad even when I let go willingly?
For one and half months it felt great to be needed
It felt nice knowing my company is enjoyable
Your voice was like an alarm clock in the morning
Giving me a wake up call almost an embrace.
My mom says I should be happy
Spending time together even if it was for a short time
God is in control and looks after the loved
So I don't need to worry for the well being of my love.
Mama Kitty and Baby Fussy, I miss you so much
Whenever you followed me around
I was afraid that I might kick you accidentally
At the same time it felt nice you walked beside me.
Sometimes you walked on top of me
With your 'good paws' you didn't hurt me
Even when I work you would lie next to me
As if to say, "I'm here, don't worry ".
I'm feeling sad as I miss you both my little love
With whom shall I share my food now?
Your playfulness with the rugs and on sofa
The smiles that I had are memorable.
Kitty inside of the box
All cats like being the focus of attention.” –
— Peter Gray
I Miss My Babies 18/10/2021
I miss my babies, my cute little fur balls
According to mom, they are not my children
Their cute tricks and jumps as they fall
I end up checking if they have hurt like children.
It was about two months ago, mama kitty came to our home
She was actually quite small and I accidently kicked her
Not knowing she was already pregnant when she visited our home
I don't know why she would walk closely to my feet that I knocked her.
Last time, my mom had warned me, not to make friends with animals
Specially not crows and cats, stray dogs or squirrels
According to mom, animals often find their way towards us
Is because they smell kindness emanating from me as I share meals.
My mom's most favourite or used, saying or complaint against me would be
"Girl, you love and defend animals more than humans;
You care for them more than you care for your own mother
I already have two legged cats to care who are three humans."
I don't think I love all animals, as I'm an animal eater
So I was really careful not to make friends with cats
I really can't bear to see them taken away from me
Once I'm fond of one, it's often hard as I would miss.
Just watching my cats can make me happy.” –
— Paula Cole
One day when I heard a faint noise, I honestly thought it was a rat
I was even afraid to check out where it is even from
Turned out, Mama kitty had delivered two baby kittens as I searched
Mama kitty found her way into our home, a warm safe place to be.
She was inside one of the organized storage boxes which is for plastic flowers
She put her head up to show she is right inside there so I carefully cleaned it for her
Since she's there, a new mom, so we shared some milk and cream-crackers
So she would have some energy and strength, even milk to feed babies of her.
The black kitten I called Ebony and the greyish one Fuzzy who has not even opened their eyes
After a one week when I checked, all the cats were missing so I searched high and low for them
Then I found Mama Kitty and Fuzzy safely inside my sister's wardrobe last shelf
It turned out, Ebony was eaten by another male cat and for safety she had shifted for my sister's room.
Inside my sister's wardrobe
“It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more.” –
— Agnes Repplier
Mama kitty was scrawny when she came but after having meals with us
She turned beautiful and super cuddly, a real attention seeker
According to sister, instead of ''Kitty" we should have named her "Needy"
The moment she feels she's been ignored, she would bite the person.
Both my sister and brother were bitten by her as they were either on phone or listening to music
She hates being ignored and wants us to speak to her and give her attention
I honestly felt like I was walking in slow motion as she was so close to my heels
I don't know why she would always walk between my legs.
I was afraid that I would kick her or worse I would end up falling
It turned out, she was like that even with my mom, brother and sister
Of course, my brother and mom would get mad at her for following them to the bathroom
Or trying to cuddle with them on their bed as they sleep.
Few times, I also got kicked out of mom's room as she would follow me there
So I slept with my sister and she would come and cuddle right on my thighs
Every morning she would "Meow" right into my ear like an alarm clock
When she does that to my brother and sister, she get pushed out from their beds.
My Attention Seeker 22/10/2021
My little attention seeker sneaked in right into my heart
She is a cute fur-ball, cuddly, playful and mischievous
Sometimes felt like she's a brat like a kid in the heart
She enjoyed neck rubs and belly rubs, even top nose rubs.
When I work on my Tab, she would come to sit on my lap
She would "Meow" and looking at me tilting her head
Then she would stand so I can't see what's on my Tab
Unless I give her nice rub and speak to her, I don't get to work.
Other cats I had were afraid of the sound of my sewing machine
But this one would jump right onto it while I work surprising me
I get mad at her and even if I scold her she doesn't get down
Then she would hop on to my table and sit right on my project that I'm working.
As soon as I leave, she would follow me and before I take the Tab
She would race towards it and sit on top of it so I can't use it
So I would just give her a rub and take away my Tab under her
It made me wonder whether she could read my mind ?
Whenever I sit on sofa whether I do hand embroidery or crochet
She would play with my spools or wool, even with my scissors
So I often have to put them inside of a box where she can't reach
Then she would lay next to me, keep her head on my lap and look at me.
Another day, I was folding clothes but a memory made me very sad
Ended up crying, Kitty who was already asleep on my bed got up
She looked up at me, jumped onto where I was and stood next to me
She stretched out her right paw onto my lap as if to say, "Don't cry, I'm here"
Mama kitty hanging out with me :)
At first when she was on my lap or on my chest, her nails would hurt me
Then later on whenever I tell her "Please don't hurt me with your good paws"
Either her paws turn soft or she would shift her paws to the sofa or bed
Although my brother said she doesn't understand me, it felt she's quite clever.
I was really surprised when she suddenly gently bit my chin as she was grooming herself
Few times she was biting my hair, and even licking my sister who was fast asleep
Thanks to her, most of the cockroaches were dead-meat and I was feeling quite safe
It was truly difficult to beat her when she was naughty like mom or stay mad at her.
According to mom, Mama Kitty and Fuzzy's balcony is our sofa's arm as they stretch out
My mom gets mad at them when they put their nails right into the sofa or twisting the floor rugs
It's funny sometimes, Mama kitty looks at my mom, before she plays on sofa or the rugs
Thanks to her I often felt ticklish when she rubs her head, body and tail on my legs.
According to my mom I have become the duplicate of my grand-mother
Simply observing the interactions with my cute fur-balls
On my way home I cried, after abandoning my babies at a greenery land on the road side
My mom and my brother insisted that I let go of them to the nature, as Fuzzy is strengthened and energetic now.
I miss Mama Kitty so much, it felt as if she was the answer to my wishful prayer
About two months ago as I was reading a novel, I told Jesus, how nice it is to have someone walk beside me
Mama Kitty followed me every where, she would check out every cupboard I would organize
She was with me, when I do the laundry, put out the clothes and even take them in followed as I fold them.
I got to share every meal with her, she likes home made chicken
McDonald's Burgers, cream buns, fish, Sprats and even Nestamalt milk
But she doesn't like KFC Chicken, Milo, Noodles or plain bread
In my opinion, she was quite choosy with meals that it felt like I was experimenting with food.
One day my mom had locked the door keeping her outside, although I heard her, didn't open the door
I sort of wanted bit of "Me Time", then after awhile I heard a "Meow" in the pantry
It turned out she had found her way into the house through the ceiling and one block was empty
When I told her it's too high for me to get her down from there, she jumped to the floor with that great height.
Now I miss her, Miss her so much, I feel I have betrayed her trust by dropping her somewhere
Whenever when I went down with my mom, she didn't follow me, but stayed at the front door,
When she saw that I went down alone in the night, she would come downstairs with me
She would watch me closely in a distance at the garden or wait for me until I come home after I do some marketing.
According to mom, they are not my children and I didn't abandon my children
God gave them for me to look after and I returned them to nature for God to look after
I don't know why, whenever I remember Mama Kitty and Fuzzy, I feel super sad
Honestly I feel a little lonely without seeing their playful sprints and their presence.
I didn't really think I would end up writing poems about Kitty or I would actually miss her. It always makes me wonder why and how I get closer to animals in couple of days? But when it comes to getting closer to a person, atleast it takes about six to seven months if I spend time daily, almost a year or year and a half if I spend once a week with a person depending on how many hours I spend or how much comfortable I am or how much I enjoy the company. I mean, to get emotionally attached. It makes me wonder why.
© 2021 Rochelle Ann De Zoysa