I awake to the dark unknown
Stomach churning, hands trembling
No appetite to start the day
Wash away yesterday’s mess
Brush the dead hair away.
The slow scrape of the keys on the table
Kill the lone light bulb
Tap the handle twelve times
Is the door locked safe?
Tap the handle twelve times.
My foot squeaks as I slide on the ice
Hidden beneath the fluffy snow
More black ice crunches under my feet
No-one around me
A lonely street.
I whizz past the fields which hold
The mere existence of the bare bodied trees,
On a high speed journey barely braking
My legs, my head, my eyes
All of them aching.
My body slumps at the cluttered desk
The post-it notes making my day as easy
As a knife through frozen butter
Another ten hours
Until I can scramble from the gutter
And yet again walk out to darkness,
The sky as black as the gloves
Failing to warm my icicle fingers,
To embark on my journey home
Whilst the anxiety still lingers.
I step through the door in to the smell of home
Her smile welcomes me into her arms
For the night I know there’s nothing to fear
And I awake to the brightness
Of a brand new year.
© 2018 Ellie Dolan-Yates