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My Daily Personal Interrogation: A Questionnaire Through Poetry

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  

my-daily-personal-interrogation-a-questionnaire-through-poetry

My Complicated Conversation With Myself

There will be no easy way to explain this poem. It was born out of a question I ask myself every day after giving myself time to wake up. The question pops in my head, and it has become another annoying habit of mine now.

Even so, the answer to the question never seems to fulfill me. Fulfillment is what I suspect I am looking for when I pose it to myself and ponder my own feelings. It is similar to when you bump into someone you know, and they ask--how are you, or how have you been? What do most of us always answer? Good. OK. Our answer usually isn't thought about. The response is a programmed response. Then, we reciprocate the question back to them, and they mirror our response. Well, I guess it is slightly different, because when I ask myself the question, I still never get an answer that will contribute to an automatic positive response.

Honestly, I do not know if my introverted personality is why I can never muster up a solid outlook and answer. Maybe it is my health that I struggle with? I guess I am too tired to look at myself in the mirror and say, "I feel lovely today." I mean, I'm searching for that day when my brain will stop putting up all the sickly ways I feel. I know I will have to train myself to wake up and push positivity on myself. However, will that work? Obviously, the good vibrations will not come naturally to me.

If you followed that pathetic rationalization, then you might find a way to understand my poem. If not, I hope the sheer complexity of it will be interesting to you. Thanks for reading!!

my-daily-personal-interrogation-a-questionnaire-through-poetry

What Am I Feeling Today?

Meditations and warm baths

never quite rejoinder a solid

inquiry from within. These things

are recommended. These things

are soothing at best.


Yet, the quiet of an imaginary

waterfall or the sensation of

a hot-dip never really answers the

nagging and continuous question

that seeks constant accreditation.

my-daily-personal-interrogation-a-questionnaire-through-poetry

(Continued)

Go forth, with life and ignore!

Go inward to hide your fault.

Digress from this Constant quiz!

Find a normal way.


A…

Normal way?


What is this way? The expectation

has gobbled My soul. I could never

be the normal that has been

Grounded into my skin.

my-daily-personal-interrogation-a-questionnaire-through-poetry

(Continued)

The evening comes on a

thunderstorm. My brain

hurts again. The answer

never exists.


Another Day done. Another

mangled mouth from

(morsicatio buccarum).


Continued thoughts of Pica-

sand, pecans, a grit of

taste. My iron is always shallow.

My throat is sore today.


The brown butterfly in my neck

made me choke on my rations

yesterday.

my-daily-personal-interrogation-a-questionnaire-through-poetry

(Continued)

The question has never been easy.

It has never been answered even when I

was a young mutant born.


Now, this constant debate has become

A…

little arduous to ponder.

A…

bit tedious to squander.


Knowing that I will still seek

but never will find.


Then realizing, I have

stated the answer and

it was so painfully analyzed!

Ambedo: From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

© 2021 Missy Smith

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