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My Beautiful Lover

Author:

Ravi Shankar Rajan is a software program director who writes on varied subjects from history, archaeology to leadership and poetry.

A Bit About This Poetic Form

This poetic form is inspired by the "renga" form of poetry practiced in Japan for hundreds of years. A "renga" also called a "linked poem" originated in Japan to increase collaboration between the poets. Each renga is written by multiple collaborating poets.

In this simplest form, a renga consists of two poets asking and answering questions. To create a renga, the first poet writes the first poetic verse that is mostly 2-3 stanzas long. This is followed by the second poet who "answers" the question posed by the first poet and so on. The Japanese version had strict rules of syllable count but in modern times, the rules have been relaxed resulting in making this poetic form popular in many countries beyond Japan.

Renga often turns into healthy poetic contests and can go into hundreds of lines. The language of the poem is often nature-oriented and consists of words associated with seasons, flowers, or even love. Erotic elements are often avoided in this poetic version. Renga poetic form is also one of the best ways to instill creative writing in children.

This version of renga is inspired by Brenda Arledge's week 15 prompt "Sunshine"

My Beautiful Lover

What are those sunlit waves
sifting through the twilight zephyrs
fading through the silvery mist?

They are not sunlit waves,
but the refulgent tresses
of my beautiful lover.

What are those glistening sun drops,
blooming flowers in jaded autumn
meandering within my senses?

They are not glistening sun drops,
but the resplendent eyes
of my beautiful lover.

What is that assuaging sunshine
that thaws the wintry frost
enthralling my palpitating heart?

That is not assuaging sunshine,
but the stupefying smile
of my beautiful lover.

What is that supernal sound
reverberating through the velvety sunset
tormenting my stolen soul?

That is not a supernal sound,
but the mellifluous laughter
of my beautiful lover.

What is that unseen force
that shatters the somnambulistic skies
destroying my sunshine dreams?

That is not unseen force,
but the merciless fate
that snatched away my beautiful lover.

Comments

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on June 06, 2021:

Thanks Rodric

Rodric Anthony Johnson from Surprise, Arizona on June 06, 2021:

I truly enjoyed the dynamic poem! I hope, Ravi, you will see this and know that his poem was awesome and beautiful. I am also glad you taught me about Japanese poetry form, renga, or linked poetry. I would like to do that one day with you if you indulge me.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 28, 2021:

Thanks Flourish

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on May 28, 2021:

I was once related as ChitrangadaShara.

FlourishAnyway from USA on May 28, 2021:

I liked both the creative form and content of this poem. Excellent.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 28, 2021:

Thanks Chitrangada for your comments

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on May 28, 2021:

Excellent response to the word prompt, Sunshine.

I wasn’t aware about ‘Renga’ form of poetry. Thank you for the education.

And, thanks for sharing this beautiful poem.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Rebels. on May 28, 2021:

Please follow this thread https://hubpages.com/community/forum/352009/do-any...

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 28, 2021:

Thanks Vidya for your comments

VIDYA D SAGAR on May 28, 2021:

Interesting poetry form 'renga'. A good response to Brenda's word prompt Ravi. It is so different and enjoyable to read.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on May 28, 2021:

Ravi, what Misbah says is true with respect to me. Yours is the second renga I've read online on Hubpages. I believe I've wrote a conversation poem, and file same away, because I'm still learning the renga ropes to make it better. Ravi, later, I'll get hold of the piece, polish, edit, fine tone, and publish it. Very well done.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 28, 2021:

Thanks, Misbah for your comments.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Rebels. on May 28, 2021:

This one is different and beautiful. I enjoyed reading it, Ravi

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 28, 2021:

Thanks Umesh

Umesh Chandra Bhatt from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India on May 28, 2021:

Fascinating. Nice poem.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 28, 2021:

Thanks Rosina for your comments

Rosina S Khan on May 28, 2021:

Your renga poetic form is a lovely response to Brenda's prompt word: Sunshine. As she mentioned in her comment: Sunshine is beautiful while it lasts", this piece of poetry adeptly portrays that theme. Thank you for sharing, Ravi.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on May 27, 2021:

ravi, you're welcome.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 27, 2021:

Thanks John

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on May 27, 2021:

What a wonderful response and I loved learning about a new poetic form "renga." Well done, Ravi. I enjoyed reading this.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 27, 2021:

Thanks, Brenda. There are a lot of poetic forms and every form is good in its own way!!

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on May 27, 2021:

Ravi

You are welcome.

I've seen something similar where one writes one sentence then the next person writes the second part.

It keeps going forever...with lots of poets.

Great job.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 27, 2021:

Thanks Brenda for your comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on May 27, 2021:

Ravi

This is quite an interesting way if writing a poem.

Renga seems like it would inspire creative writing in children.

Your poem "My Beautiful Lover" show us those little things we notice when we fall in love.

The smile shining on one's face, the laughter in one's voice, the locks of her hair and the mesmerizing look within one's eyes.

Then it shows us that crushing feeling when one's love is snatched away.

It is beautiful sunshine while it lasts.

Thanks for sharing this unique style of writing.

I will post a link in the article.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on May 27, 2021:

Thanks Miebakagh

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on May 27, 2021:

Raji, thanks for explaining renga. I got this Japanese story telling form better now. As for your poem, its simple, logical, and flows.

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