Mr. Pretender's Last Stand
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.
A playboy who thinks very highly of himself
Master of disguise and manipulation in plain sight
Can literally talk the habit off of a devoted nun
Walks into a room like he's the Mayor of Whoville
Chatting everyone up with friendly whiskey laced conversation
Resembling Matthew McConaughey from "Dazed and Confused"
Allows even the biggest wallflower to come out of their shell
A turtle who hasn't seen sunlight in really long time
Cracking a watermelon sized smile at the sunlight
At even the most benign sitcom level joke punchline
That's been done before with a much better execution
After months of the charm wrestling match
Finally relented into a private showing of the latest routine
Kicked down the internal wall just enough
To feel more like an adult in the third decade of existence
Standards and practices blocking a tackle of lightning fast moves
Pushing the player to the ground with a polite brush-off
Postponed to a later engagement only to realize the glow wore off
Realizing that not all the swagger in world can hide the truth
Underneath the Axe body spray veneer of perfection is a liar
Never takes the direct approach and plays the waiting game
Always the winner by driving the other players batty waiting
For a response they will never get; until it's time to relent
Revealing their winning hand sooner than anticipated
This turtle weary of the indirect approach
Retreating into the 73 degree comfort privacy shell
Where the television played whatever you pay for
And no one can make you feel like a socially immature failure
Until the alcohol buzz recedes.