Mother's Woes and Subdued Revelation - Poems for Brenda's Week 31 Prompt 'Secrets'

Rinita is a creative writer, with focus on poetry. She delves into several forms including Haiku/Senryu, Sonnets, Free Verse, and Prose.

About the Poems

Brenda Arledge's Week 31 prompt was 'secrets' and here is my response.

The first poem is about climate change and how it's not so much a secret anymore. But sadly, no one seems to care, from the authorities to the common people.

The second poem is about a long-term relationship or a marriage that failed because both of them carried secrets in their hearts. One day one of the two broke the bubble and revealed their secrets. But the relationship could not be saved because the other person chose to cling to their own secrets.

Mother's Woes

Inundated banks

Softened by a mother’s tears

Ice-cold at first

Biting, ravaging

And then revealing

The secrets that men wouldn’t hear

Incandescent leaves

Fresh from the night’s shower

Yet the glow

Is that of a burn

Withholding the secret

Of a star that forever gets warmer

Creamy, sheepish oyster

Glancing midway from its slumber

A tableful

Of knowledge

Slams the hammer

Its secrets drowning in murky water

A faded rainbow

Oh! Was there a red in the end?

Mixed sunset

Sour rains

And the violet

Loses the orange glow, another friend

A world was ours

A planet theirs

The secret was to live together

In harmony, in peace

Paying homage to our dear mother

But now

The secret has died

With our souls

And there’s naught but dust forever

Subdued Revelation

It came in the mail today

Your ‘goodbye’ letter

You emphasized

Rather petulantly

How life hasn’t been better

Your hand caressed each word

I could feel the pain

As you revealed

Your darkest secrets

About not being whole again

We were the ideal love

That’s what we thought

Until the day

The glass shattered

Naked lay our souls’ rot

Your secrets you couldn’t share

And I couldn’t mine

On we went

Pretending

Forever, like stars, we’d shine

Brand new covers

Couldn’t hide

The moth-eaten pages

Of the book

That we chose to abide

And now I have your letter

All your secrets laid bare

But the scattered pieces

Don’t blend

If only I could too, share!

© 2021 Rinita Sen

Comments

Rinita Sen (author) on September 25, 2021:

Thank you Vidya. I'm glad you echoed my thoughts about climate change. Thank you for reading.

VIDYA D SAGAR on September 25, 2021:

Great response to Brenda's word prompt, Rinita. Climate change is a harsh reality today and your first poem nicely depicts it. The second poem shows how lack honesty can destroy a perfect loving relationship. I liked both the poems. Thanks for sharing.

Rinita Sen (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you Brenda. As usual your analysis is super helpful for the author as well as the readers. Appreciate it so much!

Rinita Sen (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thanks for the beautiful comment Teodora. I'm glad you found these nostalgic.

Rinita Sen (author) on September 23, 2021:

Li-Jen, first of all, love your do. And of course, your analysis is to the point. I am glad I could engage your attention with hammer and sour rain. Yes I meant acid rain. Thank you dear friend for your lovely comment.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on September 23, 2021:

Rinita

You have written us two different views on secrets.

The first one, "Mother's Woes" you show us how man refuses to pay attention to the warning signs that the climate is changing.

The secret was for man & nature to live together in harmony, but with the ignorance of mankind the world is fastly dying.

There will soon be nothing left but dust.

Your poem, "Subdued Revelation" tells us the story of how a relationship ends with secrets revealed in a letter.

How they thought their love was perfect as they pretended along the way.

But this part depicts the moment of heartbreak:

"Until the day

The glass shattered

Naked lay our souls’ rot"

Showing us how one partner reveals his/her secrets, but the other one refuses to bare his soul. Keeping his/her secrets hidden.

If only both had shared honesty, maybe their love could have survived.

These are both great writes with wonderful descriptive words that captivate us.

I will post a link in the word prompt article.

Teodora Gheorghe on September 23, 2021:

Absolutely beautiful poems! Bitter-sweet and nostalgic, like a walk down the memory lane..one that stirs deep emotions.

Rinita Sen (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you Chitrangada for your visit and appreciation. It's heartwarming to know that you've echoed my thoughts.

Rinita Sen (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you Misbah. I'm happy that you found the poems likeable.

Li-Jen Hew on September 23, 2021:

Unique blend of climate change and secrets! It's interesting how you put different items together like hammer and oyster and when you showed inconsistencies like shower and burn. They really bring out the climate change theme. Sour rain reminds us of acid rain and that's my favourite part besides the hammer part. And finally, the last poem is rhymed well and trust issues in a relationship is relatable. I can see the humour in the last line...looks like one of them couldn't put the pieces together because she failed to share her side of things.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on September 23, 2021:

Hello Rinita!

Excellent and well crafted poems. I liked both your responses.

The first poem about climate change, and that it is no secret, and much more work needs to be done, both by the governments, and the people.

The message in the second poem, is well conveyed, that secrets between two close people, can destroy relationships. Because, the very foundation of relationships, is trust.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of writing.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Rebels. on September 23, 2021:

Beautiful poems, Rinita. I liked both of them. A wonderful response to Brenda's prompt, 'Secrets'. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your beautiful hub. Thank you for sharing.

Sending Blessings and Love to you

Rinita Sen (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you John. I always feel good about your comments and on-point analysis. Glad to have you here.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on September 23, 2021:

Both of these poems are quite heart wrenching in different ways, Rinita. The first expertly portrays the effects of climate change and the feeling of futility that we may never work completely with nature to solve the problem The second, sad that the seemingly perfect couple had secrets that they could not share for so long until one did via a letter, but the other still couldn't. Great work.

Rinita Sen (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you Pamela. Glad you liked the second poem. Happy you visited.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on September 23, 2021:

This is an excellent response to Brenda's prompt. These poems are both very good, Rinita.

I liked the second poem the best, even though it did not have a happy ending. It is so well-written.