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My Mother in the Mirror Looking Back at Me

Updated on December 8, 2017
Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley shares emotional times in her life in hopes of touching someone with like thoughts or feelings, feelings from the heart.

How many of us see our parents in ourselves? While we are young it is probably the last thing we want. But when it happens it just seems right and not too displeasing is it? Of course we none want to age but not getting around that, who better to resemble than the ones we love so much?

This is about that and a poem at the end I hope you will enjoy!

Source

My Mother in the Mirror

One day we speak and hear our mother's words. When did this happen? When did we start to become them? We look in a mirror and catch a glimpse of our mother stare back at us. Hasn't it happened to us all, well, the daughters, anyway. (Perhaps men have the same experience of their fathers.)

Of course genetics answer for why we begin to look like our mothers and more so as we age. Naturally too, that we speak as our mother in many cases as she was our role model.

Maybe this displeases some daughters but to me I do not mind at all. I am still often shocked that it seemed to happen before I realized it. But I find it a pleasant surprise and I will sometimes stop and inspect the changes, wondering just how far they will go.


Source

Do Men Marry Their Mothers?

A little tidbit for the men.


Researchers in Finland, recruiting 70 men and women, compared the face of each person’s spouse to the participant’s opposite-sex parent. The results according to Urszula Marcinkowska, Ph.D., an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Turku: Although women’s husbands looked nothing like their fathers, the men pretty much ended up with women who “significantly” resembled their mothers.

There are very healthy reason here, so it is nothing to worry about at all. After all, the mother is the first love of every little boy. Yet the same survey show this is not true of females. They do not marry men who look like their fathers.

Look Like Your Mother

Do you see your mother in the mirror?

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Looking Back

Many times after my mother passed away

I thought I saw her here and there

of course it was never really her

Just a resemblance, when I saw clear


Knowing well I would not see her again

I could not stop looking more to see

Anyone allowing me to have a glimpse

Of a mother who meant so much to me


Even knowing no one could take her place

Spotting a resemblance so lifted my heart

I guess I was just not ready to say goodbye

I was not ready for us to be forever apart


Finally I began to see her less and less

I even stopped looking any at all for her

My futile search was over to see her face

I knew it was just never going to occur


Many years came and went after that

Accepting my mother to never again see

Then in my mirror I caught a glimpse

Ah, my mother was looking back at me


At first it was only slightly her that I saw

I had to take a second and then a third look

This was her at a somewhat younger age

But, yes, I saw her and I was really shook


My hair was slowly turning her color

Our faces now alike so very much

Shocking, looking everyday in my mirror

To see me becoming her, another touch


Now in full acceptance of my aging

I am not displeased to see my mother there

It is not the pleasure as to have her with me

Yet knowing she is there within me somewhere


I share so many things I loved about her

So I am very pleased to see her in my face

Everyday when looking into my own mirror

A reassuring memory that can never erase







© 2017 Jackie Lynnley

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  • Jackie Lynnley profile image
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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    Indeed Dora, I totally agree! Thank you!

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    Dora Weithers 4 weeks ago from The Caribbean

    Jackie, this phenomenon of seeing our mothers in the mirror really deserves an expression in poetry and you have done a good job. I can relate to seeing my mother in me: in my speech and actions. What an awesome job they did on us and for us!

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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    MizB- Ah, I too wish I could resemble my younger mother who also had Native American roots, grey eyes and raven hair. I will live with what I got too and like you learn to live with it and be pleased to have a live glimpse of her daily, albeit the older version.

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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    So interesting Nikki, I find I do too!

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    Peg Cole 4 weeks ago from Dallas, Texas

    How very true that we begin to look like our mothers and even sound like them. When my mother went into the nursing home, so many people would look at her, then look at me and see the strong resemblance. Your poem was well inspired and deeply touching.

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    William Kovacic 4 weeks ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

    Some interesting thoughts, Jackie. I know it happens, but I really never thought too much about it. They say I look like my father, and my grandson looks like me. I guess it's genes at work. You say, "Yet the same survey show this is not true of females. They do not marry men who look like their fathers." I was wondering if there is a reason for that. Another job well done!

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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    Susan, thank you! That is the wonderful thing about these hub comments, we can see how very alike we are in things we seldom discuss! How can we not most of us be like the woman we loved most in this world?

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    MizBejabbers 4 weeks ago

    I loved your poem, Jackie. I was shocked one day when my former sister in law told my brother that I looked more like mother every day. I took a look, and sure enough, she was right.

    What shocked me was that my mother at a young age was a very pretty blond, while I resembled my father's brunette Native American heritage. My mother's blond hair never turned gray, even when she died of cancer at age 88. However, my almost black hair turned gray in my 20s, and middle age weight gain made my body resemble hers. My mom's genetics kicked in and my long face became rounder and my body shape became more like hers. Up until I hit my senior years, I always saw my dad, or his oldest sister, when I looked in the mirror. Today it is shocking to see my mother. Just wish it was her pretty young self! Guess I'll live over it.

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    Nikki Khan 4 weeks ago from London

    Was amazing poem,yes, I see reflection of my mother whenever I see in the mirror and more interestingly, Mostly, I do things now, the way my mother used to do which is a pleasant feeling of following my Mom's steps.

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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    Eric, as I was telling Bill, I think it is very possible to pick up expressions and mannerisms from adoptive parents. I mean surely in your heart, where it counts, they were your mom and dad.

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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    Hate to hear that Bill but you know, there could be mannerisms that would resemble and surely personality from parents who taught you to be the great person you are?

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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    Thanks Mary, I have never really checked out the photo angle. I will have to do that!

  • Jackie Lynnley profile image
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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    I know Ann, I never thought I looked like my mom, so imagine my surprise!

  • Jackie Lynnley profile image
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    Jackie Lynnley 4 weeks ago from The Beautiful South

    Thanks Linda, I never thought I resembled my mother either. I looked more like one of her sisters but one day, there it was! My mom looking back at me. Unsettling at first!

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    Linda Lum 4 weeks ago from Washington State, USA

    As I age I see my mother's face more and more. I can't say, however, that I hear her words in my voice, but I do think that I am adopting some of her attitudes. She did not like to travel; I used to enjoy getting away but I find that no longer the case. I love my home and I am happy here. Thank you for a lovely and loving tribute.

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    RoadMonkey 4 weeks ago

    Enjoyed that. It's one of my grandmothers I see in my mirror.

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    Kari Poulsen 4 weeks ago from Ohio

    This is a beautiful sentiment. I look more like my father, but I do find my mother showing up more and more in my actions and thoughts.

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    Susan Ream 4 weeks ago from Michigan

    Jackie, your poem was lovely. Yes, I too see my Mother looking back at me in the mirror. I treasure the image of my mother and feel blessed to see the resemblance. Wonderfully, warm writing here, friend!

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    Eric Dierker 4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

    Very cool read. Beautiful poetry. Like Bill I am adopted. But just this last Thursday I attended a memorial service and two ladies came up to me to say I looked just like my dad. Rumors abound!

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    Bill Holland 4 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

    I'm adopted so I've got nothing to add to this other than it was interesting. I've often wondered what my birth parents look like. How much resemblance? And I'm sure I'll go to my grave still wondering. :)

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    Mary Wickison 4 weeks ago from Brazil

    Although I don't see a resemblance when I look in the mirror, when a photo is taken I do.

    I also find I have adopted the same stance and posture as she had.

    Lovely poem.

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    Ann Carr 4 weeks ago from SW England

    I know exactly what you mean, Jackie! Although in features I resemble my father more, I have expressions and certain looks that are my mother to a T! I don't mind a bit either; yes, it means I'm getting older but I hope it means I'm also getting as wise as she was - probably far wiser than I will ever be!

    Ann

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    Linda Crampton 4 weeks ago from British Columbia, Canada

    This is a thought-provoking article, Jackie. I don't think that I resemble my mother very much. It was lovely to read about the happy memory and the connection to your mother in your poem.