Morning Therapy

One Form Or Another Has Been Around For Centuries

You should give it a try

Passed down from generation to generation

There are proper skills that can help you master the art

For now lets start with the basics

Some people would say it matters if you are a man or a woman

I say this is 2019 it doesn't matter

Where do I begin

Some people like to hear a story

Other listeners want to her detail after detail

The history first

Well, I am in a catch 22

If I tell the history and those who hate history

Will certainly leave

If I tell the mechanics and then save the facts and figures till later

Those history buffs might leave

I could go right to the end

Giving you a list of benefits from doing this my friend

Then I could also write it into a mystery novel

So you could keep guessing what I am talking about

Page after page

A real eye popper

I don't want to spook you

Since it is really early

The sun is shining with a sivery tone

There is complete silence

All of a sudden

Music was blearing

My eyes were watering

I felt totally helpless

I couldn't do anything

Suddenly I dropped what I was doing

Grabbing hold, cupping my precious ears

Covering them tight

As tight as I possible could

Windows shattering

I have never seen anything like it

Trying everything to stop that hideous sound

That annoying, extremely loud, unforgiving sound

Well that might be a little extreme

It was only my alarm clock going off

It was playing country music

Which by the way wasn't a bad song playing either

Well o.k. the music could of been turned up to the max

I could have a super sound system

That would rock a concert hall

Which I don't

I could of over exaggerated a tiny bit

Giving you the complete effect

What is it now ?

Another odd sound this time loud and hissing

My headache is still pounding from the last noise

I smell something

Is it the worst I have ever smelled

A cross between two week old wrotten eggs baking in the sun

Sour milk that makes your stomach curl and later hurl

A skunks nasty scent

Left on everything I touch and I am near

Actually that smell isn't that bad either

I read you can take orange, tangerine peels and steam them

To make an at home air freshner

I decided to boil them instead

Trying to speed up the process

They have been boiling for twenty minutes now

I smell something citrusy

A faint smell

I wonder if it will get any stronger ?

Well people don't have all day

If they stayed this far

They want action

No more waiting

You lost have your audience already

You better make it good

O.k. enough is enough

I found that out that many of you

Have already figured out what I am about to say

No, it is not what you ever guessed

Washing dishes

Yes filling the sink with last nights dishes

The same ones we had no time for

Because we were so busy

They were piled to the ceiling

After all the cooking is done

Early in the morning to late evening

Fill the sink with hot water

I mean not so hot water that peels your skin to the touch

One that feels like a hot shower for your hands

Then give it a few mighty squirts of that liquid dish soap

That wonderful smelling scent that you bought last time you were in the store

One that tickles your nose and raised your eye brows at the same time

What the heck

Lets go all out

Squirt away

Use half the bottle if you want to

We can have a suds party

Then we can start to scrub the least dirty things first

The glasses and the little dishes

Then the larger dishes and then the silverware

The big spoons and the dish strainers

The we move on to the pans

We have poured water inside them to let them soak

So the rock hard speghetti sauce crust

Will loosen and be easy to clean

Piling high each pan on top over every dish

Like a bad erector set

Teetering this way

Leaning far over the sink

If they crash

They will hit the floor with such force

Like a car crashing into a nearby tree

Then I have to wash them all over again

Unless I invoke the 30 second rule

Grab them from the floor

As quick as I can

And tell myself their not really dirty

I cleaned the floor only yesterday

I get my hands deep in the water

Splashing my way through

Just like a kid

I can still hear my moms voice

Stop splashing when we use to take a bath

With the water flowing all over the floor

Like the waves of the ocean

Rising and crashing over the sides of the tub

Well with the last pan clean

Leaving all the dishes and pans left to dry

That really was fun

It was very healthy

My hands were never so clean

After an hour and a half your hands would look so good too

I got to clear my head of all my thoughts

I practiced deep breathing exercises the whole time

Standing on my tippy toes to make it more healthy

I even hummed and sang some of my favorite songs

Accapella style

Well my cat Charlotte couldn't take it any more

She ran for the door

It was locked and then she headed off to the back room

Not before clawing at my kichen chair

Then jumping crazily in mid air

I think she was trying to tell me something

She loves me so much

Came across my mind

Then the real truth suddenly hit me

You sound awful

Please, please I beg you to stop

Where are all your dishes ?

• Doing Dishes Is the Worst - The Atlantic - Pocket
  Every day, they slowly accumulate. Plates covered in sauces and crumbs. Bowls with a fine layer of sticky who-knows-what. Forks, knives, and spoons all gummed with bits of this and that.