Morning Therapy
One Form Or Another Has Been Around For Centuries
You should give it a try
Passed down from generation to generation
There are proper skills that can help you master the art
For now lets start with the basics
Some people would say it matters if you are a man or a woman
I say this is 2019 it doesn't matter
Where do I begin
Some people like to hear a story
Other listeners want to her detail after detail
The history first
Well, I am in a catch 22
If I tell the history and those who hate history
Will certainly leave
If I tell the mechanics and then save the facts and figures till later
Those history buffs might leave
I could go right to the end
Giving you a list of benefits from doing this my friend
Then I could also write it into a mystery novel
So you could keep guessing what I am talking about
Page after page
A real eye popper
I don't want to spook you
Since it is really early
The sun is shining with a sivery tone
There is complete silence
All of a sudden
Music was blearing
My eyes were watering
I felt totally helpless
I couldn't do anything
Suddenly I dropped what I was doing
Grabbing hold, cupping my precious ears
Covering them tight
As tight as I possible could
Windows shattering
I have never seen anything like it
Trying everything to stop that hideous sound
That annoying, extremely loud, unforgiving sound
Well that might be a little extreme
It was only my alarm clock going off
It was playing country music
Which by the way wasn't a bad song playing either
Well o.k. the music could of been turned up to the max
I could have a super sound system
That would rock a concert hall
Which I don't
I could of over exaggerated a tiny bit
Giving you the complete effect
What is it now ?
Another odd sound this time loud and hissing
My headache is still pounding from the last noise
I smell something
Is it the worst I have ever smelled
A cross between two week old wrotten eggs baking in the sun
Sour milk that makes your stomach curl and later hurl
A skunks nasty scent
Left on everything I touch and I am near
Actually that smell isn't that bad either
I read you can take orange, tangerine peels and steam them
To make an at home air freshner
I decided to boil them instead
Trying to speed up the process
They have been boiling for twenty minutes now
I smell something citrusy
A faint smell
I wonder if it will get any stronger ?
Well people don't have all day
If they stayed this far
They want action
No more waiting
You lost have your audience already
You better make it good
O.k. enough is enough
I found that out that many of you
Have already figured out what I am about to say
No, it is not what you ever guessed
Washing dishes
Yes filling the sink with last nights dishes
The same ones we had no time for
Because we were so busy
They were piled to the ceiling
After all the cooking is done
Early in the morning to late evening
Fill the sink with hot water
I mean not so hot water that peels your skin to the touch
One that feels like a hot shower for your hands
Then give it a few mighty squirts of that liquid dish soap
That wonderful smelling scent that you bought last time you were in the store
One that tickles your nose and raised your eye brows at the same time
What the heck
Lets go all out
Squirt away
Use half the bottle if you want to
We can have a suds party
Then we can start to scrub the least dirty things first
The glasses and the little dishes
Then the larger dishes and then the silverware
The big spoons and the dish strainers
The we move on to the pans
We have poured water inside them to let them soak
So the rock hard speghetti sauce crust
Will loosen and be easy to clean
Piling high each pan on top over every dish
Like a bad erector set
Teetering this way
Leaning far over the sink
If they crash
They will hit the floor with such force
Like a car crashing into a nearby tree
Then I have to wash them all over again
Unless I invoke the 30 second rule
Grab them from the floor
As quick as I can
And tell myself their not really dirty
I cleaned the floor only yesterday
I get my hands deep in the water
Splashing my way through
Just like a kid
I can still hear my moms voice
Stop splashing when we use to take a bath
With the water flowing all over the floor
Like the waves of the ocean
Rising and crashing over the sides of the tub
Well with the last pan clean
Leaving all the dishes and pans left to dry
That really was fun
It was very healthy
My hands were never so clean
After an hour and a half your hands would look so good too
I got to clear my head of all my thoughts
I practiced deep breathing exercises the whole time
Standing on my tippy toes to make it more healthy
I even hummed and sang some of my favorite songs
Accapella style
Well my cat Charlotte couldn't take it any more
She ran for the door
It was locked and then she headed off to the back room
Not before clawing at my kichen chair
Then jumping crazily in mid air
I think she was trying to tell me something
She loves me so much
Came across my mind
Then the real truth suddenly hit me
You sound awful
Please, please I beg you to stop
Where are all your dishes ?
- Doing Dishes Is the Worst - The Atlantic - Pocket
Every day, they slowly accumulate. Plates covered in sauces and crumbs. Bowls with a fine layer of sticky who-knows-what. Forks, knives, and spoons all gummed with bits of this and that.