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Maggie and Sam's ootside Loo

A friend told me this story about her mum and dad and asked if I could make it into a poem for her, as a memory of lockdown.


Lockdown Humour

Though lockdown has been hard on us

and some parts, have been quite tough

We can always find some humour

that helps us deal with stuff.

Maggie and Sam are in their 80’s

and shielding is a must

They get social distance visits

but they're not long enough.

When their daughter comes to visit

they don’t know what to do.

She won’t stay longer than an hour

in case she needs the loo.

She could social distance in the garden

and have a cup of tea.

But she isn’t allowed inside the house

so there’s nowhere for to pee.

Then Maggie has a brainwave

“I know just what I’ll do

I’ll put the commode out in the garden shed

then she’ll have a porta loo”.

When she visits them the next week

they beamed at her with pride

“Go down to the garden shed

and take a look inside.”

“it’s fifty-five years old you know

you’ll no find a mark upon it

It’s made oot of the best of wood

And as good as the day we bought it.”

Me and yir dad are fae good stock

nae auld rubbish, it’s the best of stuff.

So, take that angry look aff your face

and dinnae take the huff.

Sam laughed and then he said

“It will be your very own.

you’ve always been oor wee princess

now we’ve given you a throne”

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