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Maggie and Sam's ootside Loo

A friend told me this story about her mum and dad and asked if I could make it into a poem for her, as a memory of lockdown.


Lockdown Humour

Though lockdown has been hard on us

and some parts, have been quite tough

We can always find some humour

that helps us deal with stuff.

Maggie and Sam are in their 80’s

and shielding is a must

They get social distance visits

but they're not long enough.

When their daughter comes to visit

they don’t know what to do.

She won’t stay longer than an hour

in case she needs the loo.

She could social distance in the garden

and have a cup of tea.

But she isn’t allowed inside the house

so there’s nowhere for to pee.

Then Maggie has a brainwave

“I know just what I’ll do

I’ll put the commode out in the garden shed

then she’ll have a porta loo”.

When she visits them the next week

they beamed at her with pride

“Go down to the garden shed

and take a look inside.”

“it’s fifty-five years old you know

you’ll no find a mark upon it

It’s made oot of the best of wood

And as good as the day we bought it.”

Me and yir dad are fae good stock

nae auld rubbish, it’s the best of stuff.

So, take that angry look aff your face

and dinnae take the huff.

Sam laughed and then he said

“It will be your very own.

you’ve always been oor wee princess

now we’ve given you a throne”


Charlie Halliday (author) from Scotland on August 25, 2020:

Thank you Brenda glad you enjoyed

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on August 23, 2020:

This is a cute one.

What a wonderful throne ...but at least she can stay longer to visit.

Charlie Halliday (author) from Scotland on June 23, 2020:

Thank you John.

Charlie Halliday (author) from Scotland on June 23, 2020:

I grew up in a tenement with a toilet on the landing and yes including the squares of newspaper. Thanks for visiting Lorna

Charlie Halliday (author) from Scotland on June 23, 2020:

Good to have a sense of humour in these hard times Ann.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on June 23, 2020:

A great solution and a wonderfully funny poem. Excellent job on this, Charlie. I loved it

Lorna Lamon on June 22, 2020:

I always knew there was a reason why my Gran never got rid of that dry toilet in the back yard. Your poem was hilarious Charlie, and that commode is certainly more up-market than my Gran's outside loo, complete with newspaper. Loved it.

Ann Carr from SW England on June 22, 2020:

Brilliant! This is priceless and just the sort of thing that lockdown has brought about I would think.

It is a problem we have to deal with for visitors at the moment, isn't it, and this solution is soooo good!


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