Updated date:

Loving A Monster

Rosemary is author of six books on mental health and inspirational poetry. She is a motivational speaker and a volunteer peer advocate.

surviving-the-isolation-of-covid-19-ways-ive-had-fun-and-kept-busy

I loved you

For the monster that you are

I did not know

That you were empty inside

All my life

I believed your lies

The way you related to me

Made me codependent and me I sometimes despised

I had to learn

how to grow

To let go of past ties

In time I grew more and more

Became stronger and stronger

And in prison to you I am no longer

You bought me any way you could

Sometimes you used money to get me to do your bidding

Unfortunately your lies and deception

hurt not just me but others as well

This is just my tale to tell

Of how we can overcome


You played your role

you needed others

And used your children

As you were a mother

To entertain you

To keep you company

While dividing them against each other

It's really been painful

time and time again

And now that you're 87

Perhaps it has to end

I no longer can be a victim

No matter what it costs me I need to be free

Free of pain

Free of jealousy

Free of whatever tricks you try to throw my way


Your emptiness inside

made you think it was okay to lie

This desperate feeling in you

Was what controlled your actions


I do hope that if there is a God

He forgives you

For all the pain and bullshit

You put us....through

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on February 21, 2021:

It is so real. I have seen anither family where the mother treated the youngest one with favoritism. I wonder if that is common in larger families?

That was a family of 5.

My heart goes out to you for the patience you have had to endure all these years.

I cannot fathom being that strong. It breaks me apart.

Take care of yourself & put yourself first for once.

schoolgirlforreal (author) on February 21, 2021:

Thanks Misbah

My mom had 10 kids.

She was nice to the youngest.

I am the 10th child.

I didn't notice her manipulation until my 30s.

schoolgirlforreal (author) on February 21, 2021:

Hi John,

good to see you.

Thanks for your visit.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Poets on February 21, 2021:

Very sad and my heart aches after reading it

I am speechless, really don’t have good enough words to express how I am feeling after reading it.

Mother is always a whole world to a child

The very first school of a child is a mother

She teaches the child everything good, but if the mother doesn’t do her part good the personality of the child breakdown

Blessings

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on February 21, 2021:

This was a sad read. For a mother to treat her children that way is wrong. As Brenda said...a narcissist for sure.

schoolgirlforreal (author) on February 21, 2021:

Thank you, Brenda,

This validation and understanding means a lot. It's so tricky, that I try to believe it's not true/real.

It's the hardest thing to believe.

God bless.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on February 21, 2021:

This touches on the sadness & heartache left behind from a narcissist.

I wonder if they ever truly know the pain they inflict.

I have read that they do not feel emotions.

A sad tale to tell, but others can relate.

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