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Love is a Dream - A Poem

Kari enjoys writing poetry. There is a certain freedom in poetry because you don't always have to follow the rules.

The life shines while all around is darkness.

The life shines while all around is darkness.

Multiple Personalities, Schizophrenia, and Transgendered

Once upon a time I loved a complicated individual. He said he was trying to become a woman when he was a teenager, but decided to stay a man. Not knowing anything about transgender, I thought this was possible. I now know better.

They had DID (multiple personalities), schizophrenia, and was transgendered. I wanted to help them and support them. I stayed with them and took care of them for 5 years. During that time they became worse. They became catatonic and in the end their parents committed them.

About six months later his mother called me to tell me he was better. He was himself again, even using his birth name. I bought it hook, line and sinker. (I wanted to.) I moved to the state they were living in and had "him" move in with me.

During the year they lived with me, they told me that the being I had loved was made up to make me like him. They said that being was dead and gone. By the end of the year I had them move out. They died a year later.

It sounds pretty simple put this way. But it was anything but simple. I was lost, totally lost, when he returned from a hospital visit and told me he was a she. Anyway, it is a long and complicated story and at the time I questioned everything I knew.

Love is a Dream

If what I loved is a dream,

Is all love a dream?

Something we all hope for,

But never find it seems?

I thought I loved a truth

But now I have to see

The truth was just a lie

Invented to fool me

Thought I loved a man

Thought I was free to be me.

But he was not a he,

he was a she.

Now I wonder what truth

I am too blind to see.

So life can once again

Make a fool of me.

Sometimes life is tricky

And I can’t really see,

What’s around the corner

Or what’s in front of me.

The gossamer armor of hope

That I wear

Seems to unravel,

showing some tears.

If it’s all a dream

Then why try so hard.

I could just relax

And live life from afar.

I could tune out all

The noise and the clatter

And live very simply

Caring for what mattered.

Someplace I can grow things,

And get down on my knees

And thank all that is

For everything I see.