Updated date:

Love Myself Alone..

love-myself-alone

I write this piece so I can let it out...
I don't deserve this I wanted to shout...
Shout this ache and pain that I have.
Loving you is a tragedy,
It doesn't feel like a melody...


My heart aches, it burns with pain...
I hate it but I forgive you over and over again,
Am I this stupid or am I a masochist?
I wake up with love but now I wake up with pain
An agony that is in my brain...


I can't breathe I wanted to stop..
I am so afraid, I am so afraid to love...
It's hard to love a shadow you can't touch but you can love...
Hit me in the head stab me in the heart...
Bring down tears full of hatred and hurt...


Now you tell me that you love me!
Isn't it funny?
How can you call this love if it's so abusive...
Am I being so naive?


Living this life with someone who gives me pain?
Thinking that person will change...
No one can love me better than myself...
When I wake up,
When I wake up, I know I have to end this...
A suffering that I let my self suffered...
Who to blame?
Yes, it is me because I let them make me feel this way...
Do I deserve this?
Yes, I do... because I punished myself with you...


I know you bring pain but I neglected in the name of love...
How can I be stupid to hold on to you...
And now I hate myself...
I hate myself for being so blind...


Now I am scared.. scared of love or scared of you..?
The love that ones grow, now it dies with pain and regret...
I'm signing off to let you go... To let you know...
I hope that one day I can stand again...
With a smile without pain...


I will love myself,
Will love me and stop being scared...
Love myself.. love me...
Alone...

© 2020 Joann Asintista Bundia

Comments

Fam on February 08, 2020:

Nice poem!

Lorna Lamon on February 07, 2020:

Such an emotional poem full of truth and courage. Loving someone can make you blind to their faults in the belief that they will change. Loving yourself will give you the courage to accept the truth and let go. Excellent poem.