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Living in Limbo: My Fate of Neither Being Completely Here Nor There

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  


An Explanation Into My Twilight Zone

I didn't put much inspiration into this poem. It was more like a poem of a day-to-day struggle in the land of unhappiness and void. This one does portray a little of a "want" to it; want to be happy and trying to find a reason to live on by looking into a beautiful horizon.

Even so, I will confess that the part about horizon and happiness did come a bit from a clip in which I was lucky enough to run across while I was writing this poem. It was a clip I will post here, and it was of Alfred Hitchcock, of all people, answering a question about what makes him happy. It was a little shocking, but then again, it wasn't so surprising at all. Hitchcock, being the horror story off in the Twilight Zone, the type of person he portrayed, seemingly had a gentle heart. Not surprising when I thought about how I have a serious dark side and feel that I am a gentle soul. It was most enjoyable, to say the least, and did contribute a little to the poetic form.

A Happy Horizon

I’m losing it; I know I am. It’s a scary feeling to want out

of this life fight…

Out of these responsibilities which always seem to fall to

failure made unimportant by the right...

never good enough to hit a mark, or milestone, no single

containment I have known.

And so, I think about my ashes buried deep in waters blue,

where I can finally feel brand new…anew...



no guilt or sadness of being alone anymore. Just a pleasurable

whirl of nothing; all hurtful judgments – be atoned.

I would float in my dreams that would at present seem achieved,

now that I had left behind that earthly part of me...

marveling over never feeling this worthless again,

with a total strength - an enlightenment.

Oh, I want this, but I can’t seem to go. I still have this

necessity to carry on, and on, and on…



that want to be loved for who I am here, is at this

time a stronger pull than my desire for the afterlife of Zen.

Therefore, until that time, I will continue to long for

that clear horizon, and a problem-free soul.

A breeze, if you will, out of these very sad bones. One

day, it will come, probably unexpected.

I’ve been strong so far, that noose I keep neglecting.

Happiness will be that horizon faraway.

I do, indeed, look forward to the embrace it will

bestow on me someday…

© 2017 Missy Smith

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