My issues with my dad I caused a lot of emotional strain on my life. I am still figuring it all out..

Ring Ring

Hey it’s your dad calling

I just wanted to see how you are doing

I haven’t spoken to you in months

Call me when you get a chance

Hey Dad,

Here is my answer to all your questions I guess

I know you’d prefer a jolly conversation on the phone

But I think it better

If you read this letter

Alone

You see I have a confession to make

Please don’t take this as hate

Cause I love you

I mean everyone should love thy neighbor as they love themselves

If this is a reality you cannot take

Give me a warning before your next call

Let me put the desert in my eyes

Since you can’t bear to see me cry

I’ll paint my lips with super glue

So the truth cannot escape to you

Oh but wait I forgot to create a smile

Cause you don’t understand the concept of trauma.

If you have made it this far

Your heart may have a scar

But if it doesn’t don’t pretend

I wouldn’t be surprised.

All aboard!

I got you a first class ticket on the train of memories

My suffering began with wife number 3

Mom please, I don’t wanna leave!

A piece of paper written by strangers

Forced her to open that door every time

She’d dry my eyes

Cause it pains her to see me cry

But you never noticed that, did you?

So focused on shouting your rights as a father

Oh I’ll bet you’ll disagree

Say that the fault is in me

I was young and did not understand

Times were tough

So applause applause

Thanks for my own room in house number 3

An attic, no light, nobody but me

A father knows his daughter you said

Did you know that tears drowned me to sleep

My fear ignited and cloaked in darkness

“Only one more night till Sunday”

Oh but don’t worry dad

You taught me a lot

How to handle the pain

Emotional and physical

Physical?

That might come as the greatest shock to you

So let me paint you the perfect view

A medical condition that plagues me every night

Ring around the rosy

Listen to this very closely

A burden I did not request

A problem that I keep repressed

Confronted with something that you can’t understand

It’s my fault I am the way that I am?

I cringed to see the morning sun

The outstretched hallway

Walking to my personal hell

A trickle of hope deep within my heart told me that the burden did not take root

I said with pride “not today”

Seconds later

You made me dig through the trash to prove my truth

And when your verdict was guilty

My hope died

I could hear the air rushing towards my ear

Pain masked my face

My body fell to the floor

Tears thrown from my young eyes

“Do you want another one? Stop lying!”

This is a part you’d like to forget

A speed bump in time you’d likely miss

That little girl

Lost her hope

Lost her love

Lost her father

You may be my DNA but you are not my dad

Your grateful daughter,

Patricia

© 2019 Patricia Weathersby