Letter To Dad
My issues with my dad I caused a lot of emotional strain on my life. I am still figuring it all out..
Ring Ring
Hey it’s your dad calling
I just wanted to see how you are doing
I haven’t spoken to you in months
Call me when you get a chance
Hey Dad,
Here is my answer to all your questions I guess
I know you’d prefer a jolly conversation on the phone
But I think it better
If you read this letter
Alone
You see I have a confession to make
Please don’t take this as hate
Cause I love you
I mean everyone should love thy neighbor as they love themselves
If this is a reality you cannot take
Give me a warning before your next call
Let me put the desert in my eyes
Since you can’t bear to see me cry
I’ll paint my lips with super glue
So the truth cannot escape to you
Oh but wait I forgot to create a smile
Cause you don’t understand the concept of trauma.
If you have made it this far
Your heart may have a scar
But if it doesn’t don’t pretend
I wouldn’t be surprised.
All aboard!
I got you a first class ticket on the train of memories
My suffering began with wife number 3
Mom please, I don’t wanna leave!
A piece of paper written by strangers
Forced her to open that door every time
She’d dry my eyes
Cause it pains her to see me cry
But you never noticed that, did you?
So focused on shouting your rights as a father
Oh I’ll bet you’ll disagree
Say that the fault is in me
I was young and did not understand
Times were tough
So applause applause
Thanks for my own room in house number 3
An attic, no light, nobody but me
A father knows his daughter you said
Did you know that tears drowned me to sleep
My fear ignited and cloaked in darkness
“Only one more night till Sunday”
Oh but don’t worry dad
You taught me a lot
How to handle the pain
Emotional and physical
Physical?
That might come as the greatest shock to you
So let me paint you the perfect view
A medical condition that plagues me every night
Ring around the rosy
Listen to this very closely
A burden I did not request
A problem that I keep repressed
Confronted with something that you can’t understand
It’s my fault I am the way that I am?
I cringed to see the morning sun
The outstretched hallway
Walking to my personal hell
A trickle of hope deep within my heart told me that the burden did not take root
I said with pride “not today”
Seconds later
You made me dig through the trash to prove my truth
And when your verdict was guilty
My hope died
I could hear the air rushing towards my ear
Pain masked my face
My body fell to the floor
Tears thrown from my young eyes
“Do you want another one? Stop lying!”
This is a part you’d like to forget
A speed bump in time you’d likely miss
That little girl
Lost her hope
Lost her love
Lost her father
You may be my DNA but you are not my dad
Your grateful daughter,
Patricia
© 2019 Patricia Weathersby
