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A Poem About Death - Looking Down at My Lifeless Self

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I am always fascinated on the power of lyricism and poetry. This poem is inspired by stories about experiences at Silliman Bea

A Poem about Death - LOOKING DOWN AT MY LIFELESS SELF

A Poem about Death - LOOKING DOWN AT MY LIFELESS SELF

LOOKING DOWN AT MY LIFELESS SELF

When I was alive
I always wanted to write a poem
A poem about death
But, all that
Will only be regrets of my eternal self

There’s so much I wanted to do
If I were still alive
But, what they say is true
Death is the price to pay
And it will come when it is due

When I was still alive
I was not helpful
Or kind
Or understanding
I was stubborn
A cheat
And most of all
I was not loving
Nor caring
Or thoughtful
To better describe me
I was selfish
And mean
A bully
A brute
An extinguisher of self-esteem

When I was still alive
I cheated on my wife
First with her sister
Second with her best friend
She forgave me
Then I cheated again

My world revolved
In two things
The lustful joys of alcohol
And the happiness it brings
The prized fame with money
I was rich
A professional
With a pristine job
Love was cheap
And I was certain that time
Love was temporary

I married my wife
I loved her
But only for the years, I saw her as perfect
Like a car in a garage
In time
It will have dents and scratches

I did not respect her
Though, I know now she cared
She was a saint
And she tried to be my angel
And yes, she tried to save me

But I continued ON
Headstrong
A manager
With suit and tie
I know how to market myself
I know how to seduce college girls
With a wink of an eye

I was all about happiness
And in times when alcohol gives less
Thus there were times
I energized with meth
YES
I was living like a teenager
Though I was 46
They call me sugar daddy
But I make them moan
With jewels and benjamins

I was irresistible
The greens in my pocket
Sprays sex pheromones in the atmosphere
I ride my car, till it reaches 100
I live life in the fast lane
I lived a life without fear

10 years I have been like this
Everyone gave up on me
But not my girls
I know how the stock market works
I am a sponsor to youth girls foundations

Wreckless
Might be an understatement
But I cared less
I cared less about what people might
Think
Say
Scream
Preached
Pray
I am the owner of my life
And I wanted to live life this way

But with one blink of an eye
Everything turned black
I felt a stabbing pain in my chest
And life drifted away fast
In a parking lot
By the mall
That's where we met
The grim reaper
With his scythe on my neck

Looking down at my lifeless body now
I realized I was lost
I was thirsty for love
But fooled by a mirage
The person that stayed
And sacrificed her life for me
Received nothing but pain
No joy
No rewards what so ever
Now she hands me a beautiful bouquet

I can never ask her forgiveness
How I wish I could
In death, everything is too late
If you're living the same path as I am
Let me be your warning
Learn to value the people around you
Learn to appreciate a selfless love
Learn to listen
Learn from my mistake
Or suffer the same as my fate

I am in tears
While looking down at my lifeless self

© 2020 Erl Sua

Comments

Erl Sua (author) from Philippines on December 10, 2020:

Thanks Linda, hopefully, my poems will pick up some steam in the search engine so it can reach more people

Erl Sua (author) from Philippines on December 10, 2020:

Thank you for reading my poem Peggy

Erl Sua (author) from Philippines on December 10, 2020:

Thank you for your comment John

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on December 08, 2020:

Your poem certainly has an important message. We never know when the moment of death will arrive.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on December 08, 2020:

As John already commented, your message at the end is powerful and offers good advice.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on December 08, 2020:

What a great poem, with a very important message at the end. Well done.

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