Keto and the Falcon - A Story Never Written Part 2

John is a freelance writer, ghost-writer, storyteller, and poet. He always tries to include a message or social commentary in his writing

A Story Never Written

I really enjoyed writing The Story Never Written and was amazed by the positive response from readers. A number suggested that I should write a series around Keto, and develop his character further. I decided to take that advice and this is the result.

If you haven't already read Part One of "The Story Never Written" please click on the link and read it. I think this poem can stand alone, but you will get a better sense of the background if you read the other first.

Keto and the Falcon

Keto stood atop a cliff,

His breathing deep and slow

Sensing what he couldn't see,

The vast tundra below.

He moved his body slowly,

Muscles taut and hard.

His very own form of tai chi,

He called it keto bard.

The blind seer moved along the edge

No fear that he might fall,

His body appeared weightless,

And the danger very small.

Suddenly he makes a sound

No other man can hear.

A falcon leaves a nearby peak

And plummets like a spear.

Then Keto steps back from the ledge

And sits back against a boulder,

As the swiftest bird of prey swoops down

And lands upon his shoulder.

Sharp talons pierce his human flesh

But Keto flinches not.

His mind can disippate the pain

And make all bleeding stop.

He feeds the bird a scrap of meat

Left over from a meal,

Then man and bird climbed down the cliff

Navigating just by feel.

A warrior lay in a hut,

His chest pierced by a spear.

The barbed spear head had broken off,

And death was very near.

Keto pushed into the room

And knelt down by the bed.

He took the falcon off his arm

And felt the ill man's head.

A fever racked his body,

His skin was wet with sweat.

Eyes closed and in a coma,

His chest heaved with each breath.

Keto stroked the falcon

Then gripped the raptor's leg,

Thrust a talon into the wound

And removed the barbed spear head.

A mime, a seer, a healer,

A legend of his time,

Keto's name's remembered,

But only through this rhyme.

© 2017 John Hansen

Comments

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 17, 2018:

Thank you again, Phyllis. I fell in love with the Keto character myself. Have done three stories so far...hopefully there will be more.

Phyllis Doyle Burns from High desert of Nevada. on June 17, 2018:

This is the beginning of a great series, John - and maybe a book. (?)

I love it.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 17, 2017:

Thanks so much, Shauna. I am enjoying writing this series. The most recent is "Keto the Peacemaker" but there will be more to come.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 17, 2017:

Thanks for following this series, John. Glad you are finding it enjoyable. Blessings.

John Ward from Richmond, British Columbia, Canada. on March 16, 2017:

I am still enjoying Keto and the Falcon. Looking Forward to more

keep it coming. God Bless. John

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on March 16, 2017:

John, I love this spiritually and holistically connected duo. I hope to see more of Keto and the falcon. What an awesome read!

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 19, 2017:

Thank you again, John. I appreciate your kind words.

John Ward from Richmond, British Columbia, Canada. on February 18, 2017:

As I said in my last Comment fiction can be entertaining and instructive. You manage to do both. thoroughly enjoyed this work.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 16, 2017:

Thank you Missy my friend. I don't think HP will choose this to move to LetterPile unless I submit it because they didn't choose the first one in the series. However sometimes there seems no rhyme or reason to what they select. If they did and wanted to delete the extras I think I would decline.

Missy Smith from Florida on February 16, 2017:

Excellent!! I thoroughly enjoy reading about your character Keto. The pictures and video are awesome as well. I hope if Letterpile picks this one up, that they leave all the added entertainment. It goes so well with your story. :)

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 16, 2017:

Hi Rasma, this is the type of poetry I really enjoy writing. I am glad you like reading it too. Thanks for the generous comment.

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on February 16, 2017:

Applause for a truly marvelous story in poetry. I love the idea of telling stories with poetic rhyme. You do it very well. Enjoyed.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 14, 2017:

You are too kind, Paula. How could I refuse to keep this story going when I am getting comments like yours? A mini-book, now that is an idea. Thanks again.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 14, 2017:

Thank you for reading part 2, Shyron. I shall keep working on this series.

Suzie from Carson City on February 13, 2017:

Bravo!! Bravo!!! Bellisimo!! Encore! I could read this story, poem after poem... You must keep this alive & at the end, make it a Mini Book!

I would give copies to everyone I know.....P.

Shyron E Shenko from Texas on February 13, 2017:

Awesome and beautiful, I enjoyed this very much John, and I am looking forward to the series.

Blessings my friend.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

So glad you are impressed by Keto, Linda. From the responses I think I have to continue his tale.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

MsDora, I tried to create a hero that appealed to me with the hope that if I succeeded others would warm to him as well. Glad that worked. Thank you for the generous comment.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on February 13, 2017:

Keto continues to impress me. I hope there's a Part Three in the series.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on February 13, 2017:

This seems like a story enjoyable for all ages. Keto is a hero we could all fall in love with. Solid content set in happy rhythm makes a great poem. Good work, Jodah.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

You are spot on, Dream On. Keto senses what needs to be done and instinctively knows what to do. I am glad you are enjoying the series and will keep his adventure going as long as I can come up with new scenarios. Thanks for the congratulations on 100,000 views. I know some people have over a million but I am happy.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

Sakina, I am so glad you enjoyed this and really appreciate your generous comment.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

Thank you for the wonderful comment and encouragement, Ann. I am a birds of prey fan too. I will do my best to keep this story going as long as I can keep coming up with new scenarios for Keto. Cheers.

DREAM ON on February 13, 2017:

What a great job. I feel Keto does what needs to be done.He has perfect timing. Congratulations on 100,000 views. I can see that number doubling as The Adventures Of Keto continues...... Looking forward to more. Thank you for sharing and caring.

Sakina Nasir from Kuwait on February 13, 2017:

This is awesome! I loved reading it a lot and you have a beautiful talent. God bless you always. :)

Ann Carr from SW England on February 13, 2017:

This is fantastic, John! I was gripped from the start and the imagery was powerful all the way through. I also love anything to do with birds of prey, they are so majestic, so this appealed to me on so many levels! I saw a peregrine falcon swoop once, from an amazing height and with such speed (apparently the fastest creature in the world, who has special eyelids to protect when shooting downwards like a bullet), it was breath-taking.

Well done and keep it going, pleeeeease!

Ann

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

Thank you for reading this second chapter as well, Tim... I intend to highlight Keto's other special abilities in future instalments as ideas come to me. Thank you also for pointing out the problem with the link. That is fixed now.

Tim Mitchell from Escondido, CA on February 13, 2017:

Onward the legend and lore go with well-written verse tickling the ear and imagination. Inspiring and provides for contemplation of Keto's wisdom through harmony as a healer of more than flesh. Thank you for sharing while hoping for the next verse leading this story further.

Footnote: The link at the beginning does not go where it should :-)

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

Jo, it is The Story Never Written, so if I don't keep Keto alive who will? :)

Thank you for reading.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 13, 2017:

Thank you for that kind comment, Clive.

Jo Miller from Tennessee on February 13, 2017:

Glad you are keeping Keto alive. Great job.

Clive Williams from Jamaica on February 13, 2017:

A very captivating and beautiful poem indeed john.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 12, 2017:

Hey Annette, thanks for reading and it is great to hear you are enjoying this tale. Yes, it is quite like an Indian story isn't it?

Annette D Roussey from Twinsburg on February 12, 2017:

This is such a great poem/ story. The pictures and the way it's coming about feel like an indian story.

I'm looking forward to reading more adventures.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 12, 2017:

Ruby, thank you for your support of my writing. I am glad you enjoy Keto and I hope there are more adventures to come.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 12, 2017:

Thank you, Bill. I greatly appreciate that. I just wish I knew what that next level might be.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on February 12, 2017:

Hi Chris, it was easy enough to start the poem off but more difficult to actually develop an interesting story within it. Then I had to fiddle with rhyme and meter to try to make it fit together. Glad it worked in the end. Thanks for your support.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on February 12, 2017:

I agree with every comment above. You are a true poet that can rhyme beautifully. I want to read every time Keto starts on another journey. Amazing!

Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on February 12, 2017:

Great read!

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on February 12, 2017:

No effort did I see here. In fact perhaps the lack of any at all. I do not know if this wonderful art comes from within you or through you. In any case it is a true gift, thank you.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on February 12, 2017:

Seriously, John, you are oozing with talent. I agree with everything Chris said....take this to the next level, whatever that might be.

Chris Mills from Traverse City, MI on February 12, 2017:

Bravo, John. The life and Times of Keto. I love part two as much as I enjoyed part one. Creating an interesting story, then making it fit the meter and rhyme have to be difficult. Great job with this challenging format.