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Just hold me

just-hold-me

I'll admit, i was never a hugging fan. That thing gave me creeps really, just the thought of something breathing on my neck was awkward enough to make me even shake away the thought of even touching hands.
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And I always thought they were binding, that made them even creepier and scarier and questionable in the back of my head.
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And now, I know they are binding because of you.. The heart feels at home.
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If I just run to hugging you, just hold me like you are never letting go. Or like its the last hug for a long while. Just hold me, squeeze me...
. I want to tell you how those hugs feel like, but I honestly don't even know where to start.
. Feels like home, safe and comfy. Some sought of heaven if I may say so.
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Sometimes I don't know what to say or even how to say it, so just hold me and listen to my heartbeat until am able to speak..
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I try to act okay when you far away, I really try. Am an open book or so have been told..
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The funny thing is some hugs are really creepy, just like I feared they were. Some are less creepy but still don't feel like yours, just a little weird.
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Just hold me till am breathless, let me breath momentarily and hold me again.

© 2020 Amani Utembu

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