Journey to the Epicenter of My Internal Cosmos

Updated on March 25, 2019
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Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Went away to Florida on a trip of emotional discovery

By choice and out of familial necessity

Said farewell to a departed loved one

Gained some closure and a hint of sadness

Realized that everything and nothing changed at same time

World still went on churning out Trump's controversies on a daily dime

Only thing that rightfully didn't change was my feelings for him

Thoughts of him during my trip kept me focused and relatively sane

He's the Stanley to my ever complicated contradictory Iris

My only concern is the private doubt that I'll one day wreck things

Conflicting feelings of unattainable perfection and imperfection

Seemed strange, but it was an accurate depiction

Wanted to be honest from the start and his ultimate ideal too

Impossible to achieve; secretly eager to please regardless

Desired to be the flawless partner in a life of comedic crime

Overtaken all form of logic and reasonable behavior

Yearning to always satisfy the needs of my other half

While occasionally overlooking my own capabilities

Wondered if I'll ever measure up to my own expectations

However unrealistic they may be to actual reality

A Hollywood version of the supportive off-screen partner

A playful confidante on the couch; and a horizontal tart in private

Letting my rampant insecurities dominate the narrative

My fear of perpetually disappointing him polluting a good thing

Instead of how happy we make each other when we're together

And how much I miss seeing him when we're apart

Sounded like a generic romantic comedy subplot from the get go

And completely forgettable to the last drop

Still the truth nonetheless

Never felt this way about any man before

Or anyone for that matter

Amazed that I can be so in touch with my emotions

And distant from them in equal measure

Ready to find my groove and confidence again

Embrace my flawed posterior as he seemed to

Time to shake off this recent malaise and get some true sunshine

Moving on the next stage of life, and whatever may come my way.

A beautiful sight at such a grand scale, which makes everything going on up close seem so small.
A beautiful sight at such a grand scale, which makes everything going on up close seem so small.


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