It's Not That

Updated on December 14, 2017

I never thought it was a good day to die
But I know darkness, enough to make me cry
I don’t think about paying dues, only getting by
I’m not a prince and I’m not gonna try
It’s not how much more I can be
It’s opening my eyes, it's for me to see

Sometimes it seems I’m just marking time
The way of a dollar was what was mine
Now it’s about leaving something behind
That’s all there is after a long lonely climb
It’s not what I have in my pocket
It’s if my soul believes in the prophet

I thought I would be sad about my grave
What a way to go, it all seems so strange
My bones unsaved no matter what I gave
I admired myself once, that's all changed
It’s not finding a nice place to die
It’s being ready to answer to your lies

I picked up my blessings along the path
I finally learned it’s not just about math
It’s a way of living, taming bitter wrath
I have to decide who draws my bath
It’s not thinking about being lucky
It’s about knowing you’re unworthy

I realized the canon are for my own good
Hating, that’s not what I understood
It’s a man breathing life into dead wood
But I learn not doing what it is I should
It’s not hoping to survive another sin
It’s that no man knows when a fire will begin

My ultimate fate will be very quiet to my ears
It may have already happened, I know only tears
I’m drinking in and listening to sixteen blues bars
Being an old man is my decision, I own these years
It’s not to live for myself as long as I can
It’s showing my son it’s time for me to be a man

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    • The Suburban Poet profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lecuona 

      7 months ago from Austin, Texas

      Thank you Verlie! I've been posting on another site for some reason. Hundreds of poems over the last few years. I wasn't sure if this was the right place for me. The way to make money is technically over my head for some reason. But this place is very special to me. You are very kind to speak highly of this poem. :)

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      7 months ago from Canada

      Hey Mark, Good to see you back on the 'boards'. This is a beautifully rendered piece of work. It's so tragically true.

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