Poetry is turning out to be a very cathartic medium, I should do this more often.
It is not enough for me to watch her from across the way,
Her beauty stopping everyone in their paths.
It is not enough to say hello,
Then goodbye, never to see her again.
It is not enough for me to enjoy her company,
Her fiery personality that ignites my passions.
It is not enough for me to smell the sweet air around her,
To be enveloped in the zest of her presence.
It is not enough to have her gaze meet mine,
And get lost in the trance of her unspoken language.
It is not enough for her to take me by the hand,
Leaving fate to her impeccable navigation.
It is not enough to have her lips pressed against mine,
Hands exploring like curious children with a new toy.
It is not enough to have her take me inside,
To share the most intimate of moments.
It is not enough to make a house a home,
Turning two spaces into one.
It is not enough to make her my wife,
Sharing a singular future between two bodies.
It is not enough for her to prepare a wonderful meal,
Every day something new to please my palate.
It is not enough to make her a mother,
For her to bear a life we created together.
It is not enough to watch our child grow up,
Leaving us behind to stoke the embers.
It is not enough to look over our accomplishments,
Happy we achieved an entire life together.
It is not enough to watch her pass away,
Stuck with my sadness I can no longer share.
It is not enough to live without her,
Life seeming to be hollow.
It is not enough to pass on to the eternal darkness,
All things returning to the infinite nothing that awaits us all.
It was never enough and that was the cross I chose to bear,
Dying with a sore back and unappreciative of what I had.
It was always enough, I should've told her.
Time to Appreciate
I get caught up in my own thoughts of misery more often than I would like to. I'm sure you find yourself stuck in the web of your own sorrow every now and again as well. That's okay, and it is a common occurrence with everyone, and that struggle is important for growth. Pushing through our misery doesn't need to blind us to the good we have in our life, though.
When was the last time you made some time to appreciate everything you have? I mean, taking the time to actually sit and do something you enjoy while thinking about how good you have it, not looking at the roof over your head and laughing because it is basically all you have anyways. It is important to take the time to appreciate everything every now and again, stop and actively breathe in the air we take for granted while listening to all the life around you.
No one wants to reach the end, that inevitable conclusion, without having genuinely appreciated the life they lived. Heck, if you need some help learning how to enjoy life then find someone to share those feelings with and start from there. They'd appreciate your lack of appreciation, and show you that even the things you perceive as negative in your life can actually be positive.
A Short Thank You
She will probably be too busy to ever read this, but I'm going to take the time out to write a personal note to you, Erin, my dear. I know life has been really rough these last few years, and I've watched you power through every second of it with a strength spoken about only in fiction. The toll it has taken on you is immense, and yet you continue to push forward and strive for a better life for our family. We see you, Lucien and I, and your strength inspires our own.
Even in the times that seem hopeless, you continue to drag us behind you and provide a life worth living. It can't be said enough how much I value you, your strength, and all you continue to do for us. Hopefully, some time soon, we can give you the long rest and pampering treatment you deserve. Until then I hope it continues to be enough for me to continue professing my undying love for you, because we all know that you deserve more.
Let's keep conquering every problem that comes our way. We love you!