Luke Holm earned bachelor degrees in English and Philosophy from NIU. He is a middle school teacher and a creative writer.
Man vs. Machine
What follows is a very real, hour-long battle that I had with my wifi, router, modem, and computer. I felt as though I'd try everything, but still the internet eluded me. If you are feeling down or in the dumps because of your computer malfunctioning or your internet going out, know that you are not alone.
Angering the Almighty Router!
The black beast betrayed me.
I invested all my time and effort,
but it chose to fail me when I most needed it most.
After fiddling around in the dark,
I finally located the reset button
and jammed a pen into its hole.
Now I’ve angered it,
for now my internet doesn’t work at all.
I am disconnected…
I’ve been here so many times before.
At least an hour of frustrated wifi hacking
that always takes way too long.
The fortunes of fate toy with my every emotion.
I get so close, only to learn how far I really am.
I can almost taste the wifi. It’s just out of reach.
The internet makes it look so easy!
Hit the button. Wait for the blinking lights.
Poof! Your connection is better than ever!
Not mine. My machine goes into critical meltdown.
Lights are blinking in erratic disharmony.
Then they freeze, not knowing what to do.
It takes awhile before I accept my predicament as reality.
I play around with my laptop’s wifi a few more times.
I toggle it on and off, on and off, but nothing happens.
Finally, the truth sets in. I prepare for battle.
Man vs. Router, wifi, modem…whatever you call it.
This could get messy.
A handful of locked router names are all that remains.
Belkin. CarrotMonster,1FxY7004, and Wu-Tang LAN are mocking me.
Or are they hacking me? I need to act quick!
Things start to get serious when I turn the computer off.
I search for fixes on my phone.
while simultaneously resetting, rebooting, and rerouting my ass off.
Try Making Friends
After cycling every system three or four times, I’m still at a loss.
I give up, calling for a truce.
I try to talk to the technology. Coaxing it with kind words.
It winks at me with its yellow-green eye
like it's conscious.
I begin to notice other bright lights looking in my direction.
All of them shining in my eyes. They wanted me to see them.
They know I know! I have to change the password quick!
Configure, Go Figure!
I start typing in an old code. 100.01.1.
It doesn't work. What language does this beast speak?
I command it’s submission: admin. password.
The loading wheel spins three times before revealing nirvana.
I finally have the router menu! I can change the wifi password:
After an hour of struggle, the case is closed.
I wasted some time, but kept my cool,
but wait! Now my phone isn't working...