In and Out of Hope - LetterPile - Writing and Literature
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In and Out of Hope

Kari is a compassionate and empathetic individual. She loves the earth and all its life. She is a believer in the dignity of each of us.

in-and-out

My house of cards is about to fall.

On this tightrope juggling the balls,

I find myself wishing I could hope

for something more than a piece of rope.

Where are the dreams I knew so well?

Why is this life going to hell?

When will it end, when will it end,

when will peace find me again?

I’m lost right now, black inside.

Wishing I could just take a ride

away from everything that holds me here,

away from pain and tears and fear.

I know I can’t, I must stand tall,

even with my back against that wall.

Hold my head up and hope.

Get it together, start to cope

with all the disappointment I feel.

I need to find a way to heal.

I don’t know how this funk came on.

Were all my hopes just a con,

to fool me from this ugly life,

to take from me and leave me strife.

Where did the light go, why can’t I see

all the things that make me me?

Where did I go?

Where did I go?

Optimism, love and hope

my usual methods to cope

have turned away and left me dark.

Could all my hope be just a lark?

Where is the love that holds me strong?

When did this happen, what went wrong?

How do I find what I have lost?

I need it now at any cost.

Why do I feel alone and cold.

How do I find happy and bold?

The way I was, just last week

before I started to feel so bleak,

when I was tall and bold and strong.

Where did it go, what went wrong?

I am not one to dwell on bad.

The way I am makes me mad.

I need to get back to myself.

Where, oh where, can I find help?

in-and-out

Good Lord look down on me and see,

everything I should not be.

Lift me up out of this well.

Let me listen as the bell

peals bright and clean in my soul.

Lift me, lift me from this hole,

Out of blackness into light.

I need to see what is right.

To be what I should be,

to do that which is me.

For my kids, myself and for you

I need to hold my dreams true.

I can do this with your aid,

stand up and once again be staid.

Lift up my chin, open my eyes,

shut my mouth, end these sighs.

Square my shoulders and begin again,

and realize now is not the end.

Today is the beginning of a whole new year

I will love again and cast off my fear.

Lending a helping hand.

Lending a helping hand.

With your help I will stand.

Thank you that you lent a hand,

and pulled me up when I was down,

made me smile instead of frown.

I will walk this walk of life some more,

and remember values from day of yore.

Values that will always last.

Beacons that saved me in the past.

Optimism, love and hope

will always teach me how to cope.

And so these three with me will stay

the beacons that will guide my way.

© 2020 Kari Poulsen

Comments

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 17, 2020:

Thank you, Brenda! I know we will get through this eventually.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 16, 2020:

Kari,

This so tugs at my heart.

I know this feeling well. There are days I just want to give up but then I think about all the struggles I have went through to get this far.

You can handle anything. There is no sense in giving up Now. You have come so far.

I love how you get your hope back in the second part of this poem.

I know these days are frustrating and it's okay to feel down...I do this too!

Stay safe. Take care of yourself abd look forward to the better days ahead.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 16, 2020:

Pamela, Thank you! I am glad it touched you.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 16, 2020:

Mitara N, It is so sad. I wrote this to lift my spirits.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on April 16, 2020:

This is a very good poem, Kari. I think many people feel right now exactly like your poem expertly explains. I was very touched by this poem.

Mitara N from South Africa on April 16, 2020:

So sad the trying times that so many are feeling, this pandemic has placed a damper on everything.

All we can do is continue praying with optimism and faith.

A touching and beautiful write

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

Blessings back at you Bill! I agree we will get through this. Life survives.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

Thank you, Jo, that really means a lot! I wanted the ending to be positive.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

John, Thank you very much! I attempt to stay positive, but sometimes I am so scared and it is hard.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

FlourishAnyway, My prayers to them. I have lived without any income before and it is hard. I feel blessed that I can rely on social security for my disability. It is hard to wrap my head around how much life has changed in so little time.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

Chatra Ram, Thank you very much! Stay safe.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

Eric, I also refuse, or as I like to say, forget, to ask for help. It's a slap on the forehead moment when I remember.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

Lorna, Thank you! It is my prayer that we can find hope!

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 15, 2020:

Kathy, I agree, now is a time we need hope and love. It is so easy to lose the sense of hope at times, I need to consciously remind myself that hope is still there.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on April 15, 2020:

Oh, I think this is quite timely indeed, for many, and I'm glad you wrote it. Well done! We will make it, one small step at a time, my credo for the last sixteen years. Blessings coming your way!

Jo Miller from Tennessee on April 15, 2020:

Great job, Kari. And I don't often say that about poetry on Hub Pages. I'm glad you got to where you did with the ending.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on April 14, 2020:

A touchingly raw poem that describes what many are feeling right now. Wonderful flow and rhyme scheme, Kari. Stay positive and true to your values.

FlourishAnyway from USA on April 14, 2020:

Many who are facing financial difficulties in this pandemic are starting to feel the depression and angst you describe here. I hope that they can find a source of optimism to make it through.

CHATRA RAM from BARMER INDIA on April 14, 2020:

Heart touching creation

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on April 14, 2020:

And who have not stumbled into such an abyss will never know the joy of being pulled out by faith. Optimism, love and hope. Sometimes I get so cantankerous that I refuse to ask for His help. silly me.

I really enjoyed the rhyming sequence through to the end. To my non-poetic mind this looks like it was really hard to do. And yet you did it with ease and aplomb. Thank you for the lift up.

Lorna Lamon on April 14, 2020:

Such a powerful poem so heartfelt. Depression can be so destructive and your poem portrays this loss of optimism and not being able to see a way through. It is also inspirational as your faith gives you the hope of a new tomorrow. A light in the darkness. Beautiful writing Kari.

Kathy Henderson from Pa on April 14, 2020:

Kari -

Wow, this is so beautifully honest. In this season I am sure the pull away from optimism is attacking the human psyche. The unknowns of situations can instill confusion. When within an unprecedented time we lean in and trust. However, truthful presentations of the feelings are part of maintaining a sense of normal. Having a full grasp of the emotions helps one to move past pain and into all the possibilities.

Thank you for sharing your heart and many prayers and blessing to you