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I'm Still Here

Retired counselor, 341 short stories published by FSU. I have 4 sons, love sharing photography, writing, love travel, sunshine, sea & Grace.


For my sons:

Once, the summer breeze warmed us, and words we used were molded from the feelings you trusted, and we would snuggle up, close

Now, huge rocks rise between us, and we get cut and bleed, there's no way through

Memories of small boy/s, big eyes, open hearts. Words like arms, wrapped in tenderness and care. Easy flowing with no icebergs. But winter was on its way...

Now, this land is barren; ice-covered, cracked and broken; huge chasms have formed

You’re over there, I am here. I am here. Still here. Calling out from a place once so warm; screaming through chasms and rocks, echoes...lost

I miss our summer garden. Wild young buds and open flowers! Weeds manageable (and I love to garden). Time. Takes its toll on caretakers and weeds so high, no sky, could only feel my way, fumbling, bumping into things (tender buds, you who I nurtured; I bruised) and now

Wilderness. Desert. Rocks. Where's the stream? Where are you? Where's the bridge back?

Can you feel me (where the rocks and the chasms and the deserts and the wildernesses don't exist)? ...Can't you feel me?

I am here, I am here, I am still here. (Echo, echo, echo....)



Helen Lewis (author) from Florida on August 03, 2020:

too far away Peachy

peachy from Home Sweet Home on August 03, 2020:

Your kids don't visit you during weekends ?

Joan King on August 20, 2017:

Very well said. We have to accept that our kids grow up and have their own lives. Yes I miss mine but they are always only a phone call or text away. I allow them their space but I don't wait for them to contact me, I contact them.

Helen Lewis (author) from Florida on April 11, 2017:

Thanks for your kind comments, AliciaC

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on April 11, 2017:

This is a powerful poem. I'm sorry about the situation that you're facing.

Elisa Deviani Koswara on April 11, 2017:

thank you for beautiful poems Helen... i felt far away from him too

Helen Lewis (author) from Florida on April 11, 2017:

Thanks for your comments and kind words Gwenneth Leane, its even worse wheen they blame you for their failures!

Gwenneth Leane on April 10, 2017:

You have expressed honestly and deeply how mothers feel when their children have grown and fled the nest.

Once a mother always a mother. Its the letting go that is hard and is a grief. Lovely feeling, thought and presented.

Helen Lewis (author) from Florida on April 10, 2017:

Thanks Susan; in a lot of pain right now due to some undeserved serious rejection. The loneliest path in the world is the one parent family ...heart broken these last few years. Thanks for your kind comment!

Susan Zutautas from Ontario, Canada on April 10, 2017:

It's a shame we can't go back to when they were once little boys. Beautiful poem!

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