Blondey has self published 3 books of poetry on Amazon. You can find her under her pen name Rosemary Amrhein.
What is this?
This pain that is inflicted on me
It started with my parent
Then it came with you
Well you made me happy for five years
And then when I let you go
I cried an ocean of tears
I thought I was done with it
But I made two friends
Who continued it!
Really one I guess
Because the other doesn't matter
Lying, deceit, manipulation never got my liking
I see you now
And I'm blown away
By your love
this toxic love
That I never knew you had for me
It was friendship for me with you
But I never knew you loved me
I never knew and I'm blown away
Blown away because I never loved you that way
Not in a physical way not in an attraction way
Only a friend
But quite close to a relationship
Because we had so much in common
Yet now I can see
Why I've been so hurt by you
over and over
like crimson and clover
Whatever that means
Crimson is pain
Clover is pleasure
I've had fun with you
I thought you were my friend
But all this time
You wanted me in the end
I can see now why
your feelings get so hurt
When I say things that don't coincide with wanting you
Then you get blue
And make me feel bad somehow
And end up hurting me
over and over
like crimson and then clover
But now that I see the pattern
It was harder to spot than my actual love relationship
It was so hidden
Very well hidden
You hid it very well
I just wish that when someone showed love for me
It would make me feel good
It would make me happy
It would not hurt me
That they would not hurt me
Will I ever find someone not to hurt me?
My ex didn't really hurt me
He made me so happy
But when it ended it hurt worst of all
So I guess if in love you do fall
Try to ask God for a love that will make you happy
A love that will make you
Blondey (author) on March 19, 2021:
Maybe the person who loves me is a child in an adult's body.
Chrish Canosa from Manila Philippines on March 06, 2021:
I think it's the- stage of adolescence love, it sounds very overwhelming to me haha. Love and passion is the poetry of the universe!
I hope you have a great day
Blondey (author) on March 05, 2021:
Love definitely is beautiful.
I'm definitely a fan of love!
Thank you very much for stopping in to say hello and leave feedback!
Yes, I have spent so much time alone the past several years
I think I finally know....who I am!
And I do love myself.
love and peace!!!
Oh and P.S.
If you read my other older poems on here and schoolgirlforreal and also my 3 poetry books on amazon.com under Rosemary Amrhein....you will see hundreds of poems that display very plainly how deeply I was in love before and how beautiful it was! :) I'm just waiting for lighting to strike twice!!!!
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on March 05, 2021:
Echoing words of pain.
One must first live himself...in order for another to love him the same way.
Love can & does hurt...but it can be beautiful also.