I Was Never Taught
I Was Never Taught - Poem
I was never taught how to take care of my nails.
I was never taught how to curl my hair.
I was never taught how to shave my legs.
I was never taught how to put mascara on.
I was never taught how to put a tampon in.
I wasn't taught a lot of things.
I taught myself a lot of things.
I learned that certain things were taboo.
I learned how to get ahead in the world through hard work and blunt honesty.
I learned to break down in silence and alone.
I learned to shield my emotions and wear my mask every day.
I learned to put up a wall of bitch and condescension.
I learned how to plan,
and how to not follow through.
I learned what it's like to be in an abusive relationship
I learned what alcoholism smells like.
I learned what the pride of recovery looks like.
I learned what mental illness looks like in people who aren't allowed to speak,
I learned that the familiar adage of a wallflower being applied to me from 6th grade
And on has formed me into a beautiful and flourishing flower.
A mix of pastels, blacks, and greys thrown onto a wall.
Another layer of colors added every year
showing the growth of my inner being.
That through silence has learned how to detect problems from facial expressions
Or a tone change.
Silence taught me how to listen.
It taught me how to care and empathize.
It taught me how to turn the mingle of greys and blacks at the end of the year into a Mix of pastel purples and blues.
© 2018 Olivia Nicole