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IF I SAY IT BACK

Amani is a university student who loves writing. I have been writing since I was twelve. I love writing.

if-i-say-it-back

This is all new to me, and am really trying to take it all in... Trying to keep breathing because everything goes with a portion of me.. Which to be honest I never thought would ever happen, not even I'm my wildest dreams.

This side, would be the other side of the mirror have been so afraid of o guess, and I can't unsee it now... The back side of the mirror just lost its color...

So am light a candle, majorly because that's one thing have always wanted to do to commemorate a time like this, just to start my own light even of the tunnel just took a turn.
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Amma pray on this one because for once, i can say ' I believe '.. And then amma take a really big gulp of air, just to really soak it in, before I say my amen.

So if I swallow this pill please make sure the supply is steady because I know I'll get hooked. I always do and sometimes I never totally recover... Ohhh yeah, I never seem to learn my lesson either.

Please don't say goodbye to me because am damn sure I won't wanna say it back. And if I say it am afraid I won't be able to come back.. If I say it back, just know my heart shattered and my reason to live just lost its meaning.
...
Am not sure I'll heal, or if this scars will fade. I sure don't know how I'll start covering this tattoo i have in my heart... Am just not sure there will be a heart anymore.....

© 2021 Amani Utembu

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on February 17, 2021:

Amani,

Great way to express these heartfelt feelings.

Ready to take a leap of faith believing in someone's love. Saying a prayer soaking it in with a big gulp.

So I am lighting a candle to commemorate the event... even if the tunnel takes a turn.

Knowing a goodbye will shatter your existence...you won't be able to heal.

Taking a chance on love is frightening for all of us. Trusting & believing with all your soul that it is true.

If a goodbye comes...it shatters the core of our being.

I have been there & it's not a pretty sight.

God willing, You will find happiness this time.

The kind that's magical.