Updated date:

I'D BE LYING

id-be-lying

I'd be lying if I said I was okay right now...
... My head's a mess, I barely know where am at,
My heart probably gave up on love before my damn head did, and now its just pumping blood and a while lot of emptiness..
..
I'd be lying if I said goodbyes we're my thing .
... The first and last one broke me, literally scared me than the tales of hell normally do.
Then I lied to myself that it would fade or just be gone like it never happened
But all I see is a repeated nightmare, of that goodbye, night after night.
.. ...
I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought of tine machines...
... All i think about is ' going back, making things right... Correcting my mistakes ' that kinda grown up thing grown ups would say...
.. But its just dreams and thoughts,... Trust me, its way cool in my dreams and thoughts...
..
.
I'd be lying if I said that I was happy because you are happy somewhere else..
I'd be lying if I said am happy at all...
...
I'd be lying if I said I don't want you back..
... I'd be lying if I said I don't need you..
.... I'd be lying if I said I'd be sane on my own, without you...
.. I.. I. I. I'd be lying to myself to just think without you here....

© 2019 Amani Utembu

Comments

Amani Utembu (author) from Nairobi -Kenya on November 15, 2019:

Thanks guys.. Thank you

Jonathan Mburu from Nairobi, Kenya on November 15, 2019:

Nice stuff bro, real deep.

Tiyasha Maitra from Gurgaon on November 14, 2019:

I agree with Brenda. A very nice portrayal of the emotional turmoil within. Well done Amani.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on November 14, 2019:

Amani,

This shows so much emotional heartbreak and honesty.

Hurting inside ones heart is always hard to admit. It is a struggle to make it through one's day.

Nice read.