I am an empath which means I can "feel" others emotions and feelings as well as put into words things others would find hard to understand.
Bullet for my valentine. Tears don't fall
I will seek no more,
Because its not there to be found,
Trying becomes such a chore,
My head in the clouds my feet on the ground.
When I look I fail to see,
My eyes become misty with pain,
The world is the same but different to me,
While the inglorious hide in their shame,
I watch the stars race across the sky,
And the clouds deposit their morning dew,
It becomes monotonous always having to try,
Pretending every day is brand new,
It seems like your fading toward another notion,
Your mind just likes to play tricks,
It's like when your floating upon the ocean,
And your grasp upon reality slips.
Don't look at me your sorrowful gaze torments,
The truth in your eye the spit on your tongue,
Your actions betray what your feelings resents,
And the journey you take turns out wrong.
You look as though you know me,
But I know that just is a lie,
That look in your eye isn't all that I see,
When you so purposely walk by.
I've been there watching you stumble,
I've caught you when you've fell down,
Your not the only one who might just tumble,
Like when it's me I just look like a clown.
So don't act like your a loyal friend,
And about me to other's you talk,
When I am someone whom you can depend,
But when it's me your likely to just walk.
I see you play your silly games
Everything seems so pretence,
Those who are pure in heart you just call names,
Behind their backs you just resents.
Why do you pretend not to notice me,
All I want is to see you just smile,
Is it because I could never expect to be,
Someone you'd notice just for a while.
A good heart is hard to find,
Yet selfish hearts outnumber the few,
It's like broken promises are so unkind,
Even when they were made might have been true.
Have you ever been ignored,
shunned abused scorned,
looks that stare and hurt,
ice cold eyes that say your dirt.
No friends or colleagues to share what's new,
alone on a corner feeling blue,
out on a limb with no one to hold,
feeling depressed unloved and so cold.
Thoughts like shadows tease and bite,
mixed emotions wrestle in the night,
laughter an echo of someone's smile,
wishes and dreams others defile.
Banished in hindsight loved by the few,
loathed by the strangers that try to hurt you,
shouting so loudly no one to hear,
hiding in shadows trembling with fear.
Solitary footsteps in the soil,
covered by dust intended to spoil,
nothing to show where you've been,
not even a memory others have seen.
Trying so hard to find some respite,
from the pain and the misery others delight,
but fighting back just torments me still,
my nerves become frayed making me ill.
This world of hatred that corrupts the soul,
motivated by greed takes it's toll,
riches in death you'll ne'er see,
like a fragile heart just trying to be.
Current affairs spits others views,
no joy in the world just constant bad news,
is this my life my reason to live,
everything's been taken nothing to give.
Left under a flagstone to be forgot,
your flesh like your memories destined to rot,
never to see another sun kissed dawn,
wondering why you ever was born.
But in the end
All I wanted was a friend.
© 2019 Mark