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I Was Burnt to Cinders and Became Filled


Manatita is an esteemed author living in London, UK. He writes spiritual books, flash fiction and esoteric poetry, his favourite genre.


I Was Burnt To Cinders And Became Filled

It was a most painful call.

It was a most painful response;

It was a most painful time in the wilderness.

Alone in a scorching desert,

I almost burnt in the ash of my own despair.

Disobedience enveloped my Heart;

I cried most intensely from within the soul.

Sweet Grace! Love soaked me in its rhapsody,

Amidst the pinnacle of Its flames.

I was burnt to cinders;

Filled again, with the crescendo of a dazzling Light.

Gripped by the unfolding intensity of Its sweetness,

I lay dazed in rapture,

Ascending on the lap of the Beloved One.

-Manatita, The Lantern carrier. 10th March 2018


Quote from Sri Chinmoy

" Allow failure to teach you a supreme lesson:

Each sunset is the beginning

Of a very, very bright and powerful sunrise." - Sri Chinmoy


My Troubled State

My first line of defence was to blame others.

O mirror! Do you not see my troubled state?

Love knocks on the door of conscience

But empathy is lacking.

The dark seeds of fear burn my restless mind,

My cemented walls are hardened;

I suffocate in a web of sorrow and self-inflicted pain.

O Light! O Love! If You be true,

Then permeate this lonely emptiness I feel.

Let the life-giving rays of the sun

Peep through my window;

Offering solace to my forlorn Heart.

I know not whence I came, nor where I’m going.

As such, I need Your Ocean of Peace, to make me whole again.

-The Lantern Carrier, 11th March, 2018


Quote from Sri Chinmoy

"The problem with fault-finding,

Is that he who finds fault with others,

is in no way a happy person,

Even after he has successfully accomplished his task." -Sri Chinmoy,

A meditation exercise

Meditation and stress reduction

© 2018 manatita44


Robert Sacchi on May 23, 2020:

Your welcome and thank you. I like looking back at author's older posts.

manatita44 (author) from london on May 23, 2020:

Hello Robert,

I see that you have found some of my old poems. I also have some new ones like that, but not many. In most of my 800 poems, I'm expressing the moods of the soul. It could be me, yes, but mostly not. I identify with humans, as an esoteric poet and write to serve.

Apart from the devotional and meta-physical, practically all my poems are laced with messages. But again, even the devotional and esoteric are designed to serve. I'm a servant -- I write to inspire, to awaken, to bring Light ... to reach the Heart.

So happy to see you. I have read some of your work and so I thank you for gracing my page and offer these thoughts. Much Love.

Robert Sacchi on May 23, 2020:

These poems and quotes give much to think about. Thank you for posting.

manatita44 (author) from london on March 15, 2018:

Thank you, Rochelle. My prayers are with you. Get well.

Rochelle Ann De Zoysa from Moratuwa, Sri Lanka on March 14, 2018:

Beautiful poetry :) Keep writing :)

manatita44 (author) from london on March 14, 2018:

Ah,Nikki Ji.

Thank you so much!! Yes, this is a very special one. I'm glad that you liked it. Love to the family. -Manatita

Nikki Khan from London on March 14, 2018:

Amazing poetry Manatita, I just heard it on youtube.

‘Paradox of Struggle’ A masterpiece.

Bless you brother.

manatita44 (author) from london on March 14, 2018:

Thank you, Alicia. Appreciated.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on March 13, 2018:

I enjoyed reading both of the poems, but I loved the first one. I like the intensity of the emotion and the imagery.

manatita44 (author) from london on March 13, 2018:

Yes Eric.

A slightly different style. Same message. Thanks a lot!!

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on March 13, 2018:

Beautiful contemplation's friend

manatita44 (author) from london on March 13, 2018:

Yes Dee.

A gift from my early writng years. Your choice are awesome pieces! Thank you so much!

CaribTales on March 12, 2018:

Imagery is everything: "I almost burnt in the ash of my own despair." "I suffocate in a web of sorrow and self-inflicted pain." Nobody does it better.

Nikki Khan from London on March 12, 2018:

Thanks Manatita ji!

I would watch that and would let you know in comments.

Bless you Bhaia ji!

manatita44 (author) from london on March 12, 2018:

Yes. There was tremendous sweetness when I heard His voice, some 16 years ago. I still hear it sometimes and He still carries me. Hari Om Tat Sat!!

Ioannis Arvanitis from Greece, Almyros on March 12, 2018:

"Ascending on the lap of the Beloved One."

What a fantastic line my beloved Brother!

Your poems are a sweet song to the One within,

are memories of the True Moments!

Thank you for that blessing.\


manatita44 (author) from london on March 12, 2018:


namaste, Nikki Ji. Om Shanti!!

Many of my poems there are posted here. I recite Rumi's and Guruji's as well as my own. I have enclosed a sample with my voice. Enjoy your event.

manatita44 (author) from london on March 12, 2018:

Yes, it was a very real one for me and for most of us. Truly speaking, I try to resonate with the struggle of the soul and since we are all His, then we all struggle. Glad you were able to work this out. Emotions can be very painful. Much Love.

Nikki Khan from London on March 12, 2018:

Ha ha, of course, I live here in London.Thanks for the invitation Manatita, I have to attend some family wedding on 17th,so won’t be possible to come.

But if possible then post the poetry on hubpages please.

Would love to read it.

Bless you.

Elijah A Alexander Jr from Washington DC on March 12, 2018:

Manatita, your piece "I Was Burnt to Cinders and Became Filled" sounds like the very experience I went through that I call "my new conception". I was blaming the girl who would become my second wife because of her unfaithfulness - although she was when I met her. It was quite a mentally painful time until realizing she was doing to me what I had done to my first wife which brought forth my desire to understand life which has become my ocean of peace through all of my experiences thereafter.

Very well done, my brother!

manatita44 (author) from london on March 12, 2018:

Ha ha. I remembered you yesterday and almost changed 'Sweet Grace' to Bev. Fits your story so well... the ones that you have told us. (Chuckle) Have a great day, Bro. Peace!!

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on March 12, 2018:

I had to suffer to find love...it is the only way,evidently, that I learn, through pain....but now that the lesson is learned .. .

love always!

manatita44 (author) from london on March 12, 2018:

Thank you, Nikki.

Sometimes I forget that you are here with us in England. God bless the children and their teachers.

Note: You may benefit from the Sufi programme in London on Saturday 17th. There will be some music, but it's a spiritual programme. You can also do your own poetry. Should you wish to come, then let me know. I'll look after you.


Nikki Khan from London on March 12, 2018:

Wonderful poetry as always Mantita ji!

We all are candles who burn somehow and then we survive with a new spirit to achieve.

Just awesome.Loved the quotes from Sri Chinmoy.

He seemd to achieve the height of sould and mind that connects your directly to God.

Bless you my brother, great Monday inspiration :)

manatita44 (author) from london on March 12, 2018:

Thanks Linda.

You may wish to write poetry, perhaps. Peace.

My Brother Chris.

You noticed? God is always kind to the humble ... the wise .... the discerning. I have been there too. But I feel your Love, your support.

My change of style will resonate with many souls (the receptive ones) We are all candles of the Lord. Some know this; some don't, because they live in confined boxes. No shame here. A confined box is necessary for the fragile as the egg is to the shell. Love you Chris.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on March 11, 2018:

Manatita, your first poem immediately brought to mind the words of Psalm 66:10 "For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver."

A refiner begins by breaking up ore to find the rare minerals hidden within. The crushed ore is put into the crucible. The ore melts under the watchful eye of the refiner. After removing the impurities, the heat is raised and the crucible is again placed into the furnace. Only when the refiner can see a clear reflection of himself is the process complete."

We are tried and tested, and our Saviour endured the greatest trial for us. The refiner sees Jesus perfect image. We are blameless in His sight.

Chris Mills from Traverse City, MI on March 11, 2018:

I see a lot of contrast here to what we normally read in your poems. From topic to style. But the message is still solidly positive, uplifting and encouraging.

And thank you for this line. I've spent a lot of time there. "I suffocate in a web of sorrow and self-inflicted pain."

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