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I Will Shout

Amani is a university student who loves writing. I have been writing since I was twelve. I love writing.


I can only talk to you by writing, that's the only language am fluent at... I just hope sometimes you really do read between the lines like I hope you'd do. If I could shout on paper, that would be amazing or so I tell myself.
Sometimes I look at your pictures and close my eyes and wish for the real you. It doesn't work anyway, I don't think it ever will but there's that feeling I get that you thinking bout me too sometimes .
I hate how I remember you, makes me feel weak inside. Gets me wishing I could spin back time not to change anything else but myself, probably do a whole lotta things differently and probably say the many things I should have said.

I hate that I still can't say much, although I want to. But the words wouldn't mean much right now anyway.

Am really not sure who would get hurt most if I really said what I really want to get off my chest,... Some days I wake up feeling like I should go for it, but when I weigh the chances that amma be the reason I don't talk yes myself I just put on my smile, like I always do and shut the hell up for my own good.
Maybe amma figure out a way to shout a without necessarily opening my mouth and you'll hear every word..

© 2021 Amani Utembu