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I Will Shout

Amani is a university student who loves writing. I have been writing since I was twelve. I love writing.

i-will-shout

I can only talk to you by writing, that's the only language am fluent at... I just hope sometimes you really do read between the lines like I hope you'd do. If I could shout on paper, that would be amazing or so I tell myself.
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Sometimes I look at your pictures and close my eyes and wish for the real you. It doesn't work anyway, I don't think it ever will but there's that feeling I get that you thinking bout me too sometimes .
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I hate how I remember you, makes me feel weak inside. Gets me wishing I could spin back time not to change anything else but myself, probably do a whole lotta things differently and probably say the many things I should have said.

I hate that I still can't say much, although I want to. But the words wouldn't mean much right now anyway.

Am really not sure who would get hurt most if I really said what I really want to get off my chest,... Some days I wake up feeling like I should go for it, but when I weigh the chances that amma be the reason I don't talk yes myself I just put on my smile, like I always do and shut the hell up for my own good.
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Maybe amma figure out a way to shout a without necessarily opening my mouth and you'll hear every word..

© 2021 Amani Utembu

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on March 26, 2021:

Nice one

Amani Utembu (author) from Nairobi -Kenya on March 26, 2021:

I sure will... Thank you for the nuce words

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on March 26, 2021:

Good one.

So many people have moments they want to say something...but the words just don't come out.

Maybe one day the words will become easier...let me know when you find a magic way.

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