Updated date:

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and It Made Me Mad : A Christmas Poem

I have been writing poetry, fiction and short stories for many years and have completed a book of poems. I also enjoy comedy writing.

Mom Kissing Santa

Mom Kissing Santa

I woke up to smooches late Christmas eve

What I saw I simply could not believe

It was mommy all wrapped up like a gift in Santa’s arms

Kissing his milk and cookie lips and lucky charms

There she was, stretching across his big gut

I felt like attacking him with the empty milk cup

Daddy was fast asleep up stairs

You could hear his snores echoing in my ears

All kind of thoughts began to run through my mind

Like, did mom have an affair with Santa and I was his child?

Suppose I was really meant to be living in the North Pole?

How would I have managed so much cold?


Then I snapped out of my Christmas trance and back to being angry

Because Santa took my mom and ate the cookies from the pantry

I had to say something to this wife snatcher dressed in red and white

They did wrong and I knew I was right

“Hey what are you guys doing? Mom why are you kissing Santa?”

They were shocked to see me up and being caught and began to scanter

“Don’t run Santa, I already tied up your reindeer

Because I saw you kissing mom and that made my tears.”


“Ho ho ho hoo. Don’t be mad young man.

Please try to understand.

My wife tells me I lost my kissing mojo.

So I asked your Mom to help me so I would know.

I don’t want my wife to be upset that I cannot kiss.

So this is not an affair as you think, just my Christmas wish.

I wished that I had not lost my Kissing Touch

For my wife I love so much.

So try to understand and don’t wake your dad

Now I know my wife was just fooling me it makes me so glad

I placed something special for you under the tree

Now good bye folks and may your Christmas be merry.”


And just like that he spun and disappeared with his jolly old self

But as much as I was mad about the kiss,

I was more interested in the gift.

I hoped it was the present I wanted last year I did not get

So I will be a nice boy and keep my mouth shut, while daddy slept.

© 2019 Clive Williams

Comments

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on November 24, 2019:

Yep Jodah...Santa is a sly old fox

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on November 24, 2019:

Haha, funny poem. I wonder how many women Santa is trying to practice gaining his kissing mojo on. Also interested to know what the blackmail gift was.

FlourishAnyway from USA on November 24, 2019:

That Santa is a sly old dog. Cute poem.

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on November 23, 2019:

Hey Pam...pleasure to give you a good little read

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on November 23, 2019:

Hello Peggy...glad you loved it

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on November 23, 2019:

Keep smiling Ruby.

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on November 23, 2019:

Eric...Santa is very bad

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on November 23, 2019:

This is such a cute poem, I smiled all the way through.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on November 23, 2019:

Haha! Clever little poem with an unexpected twist.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on November 23, 2019:

This is such a clever and very funny poem, Clive. You are very talented and creative.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 23, 2019:

Just fantastic. But the groping makes me wonder.