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I See You Standing in the Background

Summer is a Freelance Writer, who struggled at a point in her life to walk in her higher calling. Now, she embraces who she's becoming.

i-see-you-standing-in-the-backgroung

I see you standing in the background,

contemplating which direction to take,

should I go left or walk right?

Or, should I stay blinded by the stigmas,

that's attached to my side?


I wear them like badges.

They're written on my heart.

I want to be set free,

but, I'm immune to the dark.


The truth became a figment of my imagination,

while false accusations smother my beliefs,

leaving every dream I'm chasing to relocate my hopes,

as I push them away.


Daily, I awake without purpose,

trying to muster up enough strength,

to take my dreams off of pause and press play,

by rewinding the hands of time and fast-forwarding,

to embrace every opportunity I was about to forsake.


You know that feeling when you're awake, but sleeping?

When you're alive, but barely breathing,

and you can give the best advice,

yet, suffer from your own unaccomplishments?


Yes, I suffer from those diseases!

They're called, "abandoned by my father,

witnessing a struggling mother,

a family that hates me,


my ex- lover who forsook me and had a baby,

my mothers ex-boyfriend nephew tried to rape me,

and I'm fighting the enemy,

spiritually; constantly."


So, I'm left as the broken girl,

trapped inside a twenty-two year old body,

crying out for help,

but no one can hear me,


because the tears,

aren't flowing from my face.

However, they reflect,

within every decision that I make,


and truth be told,

I want to break free,

but liberation is the toughest challenge,

I have to face.


I see you standing in the background,

contemplating which direction to take,

should I go left or walk right?

Or, should I stay blinded by the stigmas,

that's attached to my side?


I wear them like badges.

They're written on my heart.

I want to be set free,

but, I'm immune to the dark.









© 2021 Summer A Pennerman

Comments

manatita44 from london on January 18, 2021:

Beautiful! You know how awesome you inwardly are. Greater than the moon and stars. Salutations!

Summer A Pennerman (author) from Nassau, Bahamas on January 18, 2021:

Very true indeed. I thank God that I don't live there anymore. As I mature, I'm living in the realization that I have the ability to rescue myself with the Lord's help. There's a lot that changed for me in these past few years and I am grateful.

Thank you for your comment and your encouraging words.

manatita44 from london on January 18, 2021:

To be immune to the dark is to live in Light.

Your story - like some more I know - is indeed a sorrowful one and I offer my empathies. Yet it may now be useful to look at some positives. You write, so you're alive. You're awake, so there's a need for Gratitude.

We have this fragile vessel and all suffer in one form or another. Yours is personal to you, true, but it is given by LOVE, the One who knows how much you need.

As a child, even a teenager, one can look at being a victim, but as we get older, we need to value this sacred Temple, doing what we can to preserve it.

Try and if you fail, reach out to something Higher and reach again ... You are a unique and beautiful gift of Something Higher and so try to get it right here as there's no guarantee that we will in the hereafter. Much Love.

Summer A Pennerman (author) from Nassau, Bahamas on January 18, 2021:

Brenda,

Thank you very much.

I have walked this road and I know that we all have. As long as we exist, the journey of uncertainty will forever present itself.

Blessings to you.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on January 17, 2021:

Summer,

This is amazing poetry.

I love the heartfelt emotions as one struggles on deciding which road to travel.

Great job.