I Lost You That Night
It was 5 pm My desk was cleared, And my in-tray was empty. Time to go home I grabbed my bag under my table, Clocked out at 5:05pm, I still remember the time I clocked out, I rushed out the office, Whole day I just sat and stared into the ceiling Thinking of you, Promising myself that I will visit you that evening, And will ask you to forgive me For all the wrongs I did to you And ask you to trust in me again And give me another chance To make you proud again And that I am still your daughter And you are still my father. I already made up my mind to visit you But home was also calling me, I left my siblings alone Mum took care of you at the hospital I was running in between you and home If I come see you, no one will cook for them at home I already made up my mind to come, But instead I just went home, As it was getting dark My heart kept reminding me that, “You should have gone to see Dad” I forced to brush this thought aside I couldn’t stop thinking of you at home, I called mum and asked for you, She said you were fine, I knew something was not right, I asked mum to speak with you, She said you were already asleep I left it at that, The house was quiet, All the children went to sleep, It was 11:37pm, My phone rang, it was mum The bad news came, “I’m sorry, Dad just passed away” I was stunned, shocked, My tears stopped, I just Lost him, right! Oh, did I hear that right? “What? When? How?” I felt nothing, I forgot pain, I forgot how to cry, But worst of all I felt a huge swell of regret, Rushing through all parts of my body, If only I had known I would have been there for him. If only I had known that day, I would just visit you, If only I had known That you’ll be gone that day I would let you go while watching, I wish I held your hands one last time I wish I spoke to your one last time To say how sorry, I am. And hear you speak to me one last time, Now it’s too late, I Lost You That Night! I Still Miss You Dad!