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I Lost You That Night

I Lost You That Night

It was 5 pm
 My desk was cleared,
 And my in-tray was empty.
 Time to go home
 I grabbed my bag under my table,
 Clocked out at 5:05pm,
 I still remember the time I clocked out,
 I rushed out the office,
 Whole day I just sat and stared into the ceiling
Thinking of you,
 Promising myself that I will visit you that evening,
And will ask you to forgive me
For all the wrongs I did to you
And ask you to trust in me again
And give me another chance
To make you proud again
And that I am still your daughter
And you are still my father.

I already made up my mind to visit you
But home was also calling me,
I left my siblings alone
Mum took care of you at the hospital
I was running in between you and home
If I come see you, no one will cook for them at home
I already made up my mind to come,

But instead I just went home,
As it was getting dark
My heart kept reminding me that,
“You should have gone to see Dad”
I forced to brush this thought aside
I couldn’t stop thinking of you at home,

I called mum and asked for you,
She said you were fine,
I knew something was not right,
I asked mum to speak with you,
She said you were already asleep
I left it at that,

The house was quiet,
All the children went to sleep,
It was 11:37pm,
My phone rang, it was mum
The bad news came,
“I’m sorry, Dad just passed away”
I was stunned, shocked,
My tears stopped,
I just Lost him, right!
Oh, did I hear that right?

“What? When? How?”
I felt nothing, I forgot pain,
I forgot how to cry,
But worst of all
I felt a huge swell of regret,
Rushing through all parts of my body,

If only I had known
I would have been there for him.
If only I had known that day,
I would just visit you,
If only I had known
That you’ll be gone that day
I would let you go while watching,

I wish I held your hands one last time
I wish I spoke to your one last time
To say how sorry, I am.
And hear you speak to me one last time,
Now it’s too late,
I Lost You That Night!
I Still Miss You Dad!