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I Liked You First

i-liked-you-first

I think is actually like you, and that scares the demons outta me. Am just not used to feeling like this leave alone saying it out loud. I honestly don't know how to deal with this, I really don't know how to even deal with it.
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I think I might actually love you, and that's even scarier in my head than it may actually be. All this is kinda new to me and what terrifies me is that I may end up dealing with it the wrong way if I at all ever decide to really pursue this.
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I think ( in my head) that I may actually be ready to make you smile and probably hold your hand and pretty much show you off to the world. I have calculated every possible way this could play out and although it doesn't go well in most of the scenarios my heart still wants to try.
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My head thinks you might actually be the love of life. yeah, its really hard trying to lock you out of my thoughts.
And i tend to buy the thought that I may really and actually like you but for some whole other different reason, I think I liked you before my head and heart thought of it. I liked you first.

© 2022 Amani Utembu

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