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I Have Grown

Let this Create Your Atmosphere


I Have Grown by Jodian Patterson

I have grown.
I have grown immensely.
I have grown into unused time.
I have grown into a woman who lives with sarcasm,
I have made irony my friend,
I have occasional dates with depression,
And double dates with hardship and failure.
I have monthly outings with pain, who saw it fit to stay for a week, and then call me whenever it gets lonely.
Despite warnings from others, I married care and complained when it took me for granted.
I have fought daily with love and cried when it kicked me and punched me and caused my heart to ache.
I have affairs with greed and desire but they were short, too short, they were not enough.
They were never enough because I knew confusion wanted me, and many times it had me.
It had me stifled, strangled and lost, until many times I had forgotten that I had grown.
That I had grown without mercy,
That weakness was my strength,
That anger was my excuse and compassion became a stranger, my frenemy, our relationship became strained.
I have called the authorities on forgiveness and grace and had them locked away for eternity.
Because they did not deserve to roam the place, they shouldn’t have been at play.
I threw faith into my closet space and used it only to perfume my clothes, but I have done away completely with hope because I have grown.
I have grown so much…
And I am ashamed.


Jodian Patterson (author) from Jamaica on June 15, 2020:

very profound response to my piece, thank you and i will keep that in mind.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on June 15, 2020:

You have expressed these emotions well.

The life one is faced with..all her hopes and dreams defying her and leaving her to face depression.

Taking chances, greed in one's heart to have the life that keeps mocking you along the way.

Don't be ashamed of feelings for they make one a better person.

It is the one's who do not cry and who cannot feel that need to ashamed. Those are the one's who are dangerous.

AngelaJJ on June 11, 2020:

Nice... thanks for sharing...

manatita44 from london on May 24, 2020:

Deep and profound, yet reads so well! Amazing! Peace!

Jodian Patterson (author) from Jamaica on May 21, 2020:

Thank you, i'm glad you can feel and see what i was trying to bring across.

Anthony Jose on May 21, 2020:

Me gustó mucho, se perciben los sentimientos que florecen en ti al momento de escribirlos. Saludos

Jodian Patterson (author) from Jamaica on May 20, 2020:

I have played around with a lot of emotion in this piece, let me know what you think?

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