I Don't Want That Anymore

Updated on March 14, 2018

I’m not so tired of living
Just the living I’ve been doing
Reality is a grave we all have to fill
But I’m not ready to pay my bill

Sixty years on it’s just a picture frame
An old man doesn’t see sex the same
He wants a young woman to notice
But to a princess, “Not you, not this”

You can’t tell what’s it’s worth
Except my kids and mother earth
It’s the love of a life and sustenance
What’s else except waxing my ignorance

I already know what I want to do
I only want to talk to one, maybe two
I think my children want to fly away
But my nest is not empty, no not today

I have ideas about how it ought to be
My dreams, they ask, “What do you see?”
It’s like they need something to reject
They’re afraid of dying by my neglect

But still, I have sighted in my vision
I only have cause for reason, not religion
Yet there is reason in God’s will I know
That is the direction my eyes will go

It is not a man that I seek in my sight
Nor a book to read about wrong and right
My conscience knew from its lonely birth
Sound and print are another man’s worth

How can I live this way, what’s left for me to see
I cannot speak my mind though it’s yelling at me
The words you said, still-born before they began
What you’ve mastered, that’s not my world man

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